GTA
All Springer/NP/PCP Air Gun Discussion General => Back Room => Topic started by: Bicycleman on July 12, 2022, 11:39:56 AM
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Over the years, I have heard people using saying that conveyed a humorous meaning.
Some that I remember:
He is a few 'fries' short of a Happy Meal.
His elevator doesn't stop on all floors.
He is a couple bricks short of a full load.
Friends call him 'Tiny'. You may call him "Sir".
His favorite music is Silence!
Please add your favorites.
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My grandparents used to say, 'every once in a while a blind pig finds an acorn'.
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Thank you, Jerry.
I have used that one myself several times.
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Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
He is a sandwich short of a picnic
Dumber than a bag of hammers
Slicker than snot on a door knob
Ugly as a mud fence
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Soil that was so poor, you couldn't raise your voice.
The motor didn't have enough power to pull the hat off your head.
A smell so bad, it made a vulture puke.
The house was so clean, you could eat off the floors. :P
His mother tied a pork chop around his neck so that the dogs would play with him.
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Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
He is a sandwich short of a picnic
Dumber than a bag of hammers
Slicker than snot on a door knob
Ugly as a mud fence
Who's your daddy.. ;)
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If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his nose...
If brains were trains he missed his...
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colder than a witches left t*t...
Pure as the driven snow...
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OK Mike ;D
He claims to be a good shot with air guns but he can't hit the ground with his hat most days.
When he talks about target shooting he is just blowing smoke
He can't hit the broadside of a barn with a hand full of BB's
He goes squirrelly during hunting season.
He missed that shot by a mile.
Best Wishes - Tom
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He has a Tate's compass for hunting in the woods. The saying: He who has a Tates is lost. ;)
He was so tight with his money that he didn't let go of a nickel until the buffalo . . . .
Coffee that was strong enough to float a brick.
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He could eat an apple through a picket fence.
He even had to sneak up on a water fountain to get a drink.
And so weak he couldn't pull a greasy string out of a cat's butt.
His truck was so rusty you could throw a chicken through the side of it.
You could put the twinkle in her eye by shining a flashlight in her ear.
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Betty Lou and I live so far back in the woods that we have to pipe in daylight.
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I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with this Chinese springer... no matter how hard I threw it.... :o
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He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper if he tried.
Slick as owl doo doo.
The other reverse.
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Nuttier than squirrel poop.
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'If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't.'
If brains were wood my pet termite would starve.. :(
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If BS was music he would be a brass band.
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The more you practice, the luckier you get.
The race doesn’t always go to the swift. But that’s the way to bet.
A novice practices until he gets it right. An expert practices until he can’t get it wrong.
I have not failed. I have discovered 10,000 ways that won’t work.
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Slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter...
Usually applies to my internet speed, LOL...
Jesse
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Sleeping [crying] like a baby.
Drinking [cursing] like a sailor.
Screaming like a girl.
Faster than a scalded cat.
So fast that he could outrun the wind.
Almost as fast as a speeding bullet pellet - once!
More powerful than a toy locomotive.
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I'm afraid that my list gets a bit too dark for this family forum from here so I'll bow out.
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Not the brightest light in the string
A knife so dull that it wouldn't cut hot butter (or sub something a bit grosser....)
A knife so sharp that it could slice bread so thin that it would only have 1 side....
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I'm afraid that my list gets a bit too dark for this family forum from here so I'll bow out.
Thanks for your contributions, Bill. You have some good one.
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He ain't the sharpest pencil in the box nor the brightest crayon either.
I might not always be right but I ain't never wrong.
The more I know the more I know I don't know.
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A town so small, THE 'Town Limit' sign showed the town name on both sides. https://www.google.com/maps/@30.0061144,-92.3999061,3a,75y,300.25h,85.47t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1shJx96nfavW2PtjwchP6tkA!2e0!6shttps:%2F%2Fstreetviewpixels-pa.googleapis.com%2Fv1%2Fthumbnail%3Fpanoid%3DhJx96nfavW2PtjwchP6tkA%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D83.35566%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i16384!8i8192 (https://www.google.com/maps/@30.0061144,-92.3999061,3a,75y,300.25h,85.47t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1shJx96nfavW2PtjwchP6tkA!2e0!6shttps:%2F%2Fstreetviewpixels-pa.googleapis.com%2Fv1%2Fthumbnail%3Fpanoid%3DhJx96nfavW2PtjwchP6tkA%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D83.35566%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i16384!8i8192)
A house so small, he had to sleep standing up.
A man so big that, if he hauled a--, he had to make two trips.
A face only a mother could love.
I was so heartbroken, I got tears in my ears from lying on my back while crying over you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdXkSjtFm6I (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdXkSjtFm6I)
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........works slicker than a bee's knee! ;D
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I don't know, but I've been told..... 8)
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Guess where I saw this. Bit rank.
Some comè here to sit and think
Some come here to wonder I come here to ____ and stink and fart like Bloody thunder.
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busier than a long-legged man in a one-tailed cat rocking contest
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Zackawee disease...
Face wook zackawee wike a$s, never have no babies.
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Common sense ain't.
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Oh here's one that applies to my last post...
That went over like a lead balloon. :o
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..... more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs...
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So broke I can't pay attention
So broke i have to f@rt to have a (s)cent
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Computer upgrades are user downgrades
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What my Dad use to say back when I skydived and jumped in the Army.
"Son, nothin' falls out of the sky but bird poop and fools!"
Or "keep on young man, *(&^ ain't half full!"
When I said,"Daddy, I want---". He'd say, "People in *(&^ want ice water."
And my favorite civics lesson, "The price of civilization is taxes."
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Something so scary, it turned a freight train up a dirt road.
A town so small, it had only one street - and no one used it.
A town so small, the fire department used camelbaks. https://www.mcguirearmynavy.com/products/hydration-pack-w-3-liter-bladder-acu?variant=39360249593950¤cy=USD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIooKI2Mb4-AIVLBXUAR3BLQN7EAYYAiABEgJvkfD_BwE (https://www.mcguirearmynavy.com/products/hydration-pack-w-3-liter-bladder-acu?variant=39360249593950¤cy=USD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIooKI2Mb4-AIVLBXUAR3BLQN7EAYYAiABEgJvkfD_BwE)
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If you don't stop going in circles I'm going to nail the other foot down.
The beatings will continue until morale improves....
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Bill, those are scary. :o
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Yes but effective in most cases... ;)
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eh,
It's a dogs life...
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"Dog Days of Summer"
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She has legs for days
legs all the way up
A lie has no legs
Getting a leg up
Ya'll has two legs
ten toes down
She/he is Death on two legs
Cost an arm and a leg
no leg to stand on
She's so legly!!!
I'm a thigh guy
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Legs that go all the way to heaven.
Sit down you’re acting like a fart in a bottle.
Never pass up porcelain.
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Shite in one hand, wish in the other, and see which fills up fastest.
There's more horses a$$e$ than there are horses
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Her legs go up and make a real a$s of themselves.
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Busier than a 1 legged man in a butt kicking contest.
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Dumber than a box of rocks.
That family tree only has one branch.
Couldn't drive a nail into a stick of butter.
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Finer than frog hair
Shiverin an shakin like a dog sh1+!n razor blades
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Blind in one eye, can't see out of the other
Bout as bright as a 2 watt bulb
Caught between a rock and a hard place
Six of one and half a dozen of the other
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That Family Tree is full of nuts...
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Blowing smoke up her ^&*.
He is nothing to write home about.
Cuter than a newborn calf.
Uglier than sin!
Happier than a cow in clover.
As funny as a cage full of monkeys.
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shake a leg...
if ya shake it more than twice your playing with it...
Shaken not stirred...
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Whatever blows your skirt up...
As crazy as a betsy bug...
As crazy as an outhouse rat...
Crazy as a soup sandwich...
Crazier than an outhouse fly...
about half a bubble off plumb..
got a head full of stump water.
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Uglier than the south end of a north bound goose.
F'ed up like a football racket, a tennis mitt or a basketball bat.
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A beer short of a sixpack...
a few logs short of a cord...
a few sandwiches short of a picnic
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Some of you won't get this one. Others will say that it is soooo true:
The morning after eat five pounds of Cajun Boiled Crawfish - THE RING OF FIRE!
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Some of you won't get this one. Others will say that it is soooo true:
The morning after eat five pounds of Cajun Boiled Crawfish - THE RING OF FIRE!
Ain't that when your butt cheeks grip the seat as your butt hole tries to get a drink of water?
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That's what happens when cousins marry...
should have married the devil instead of you... and the comeback...Well, that's impossible marriage between cousins is forbidden...
even Einstein's marriage was relative...
Marriage is magic it turns a Fox into an Elephant...
Alcohol the perfect solvent: dissolves marriages, families and careers...
I read 4,153,237 people got married last year... shouldn't that be an even number...
I married my wife for her looks just not the ones she's giving me lately...
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Some of you won't get this one. Others will say that it is soooo true:
The morning after eat five pounds of Cajun Boiled Crawfish - THE RING OF FIRE!
Ain't that when your butt cheeks grip the seat as your butt hole tries to get a drink of water?
come on ice cream...
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You have perfect eyesight... what not to say when the wife say's "I look Fat"
She hit the roof... only a good thing if have a trampoline in the bedroom...
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She has jealous eyes, one is always looking at the other.
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Some Army ones.
Soup sandwich, mentioned earlier but just that no extra verbiage.
High speed low drag.
Blue Falcon.
F.U.B.A.R
Tore up from the floor up.
ID10T forum.
PRK-E5
Double D
We are gonna have a GI Party
There are more I cant remember and probably most I cant say on here.
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Better than a sharp stick in the eye...
The good thing about beating your head against the wall is it feels good when you stop.
If at first you don't succeed, try,try again. Then quit...no need to be a fool about it...
Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.
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For the hunters - It was like walking on Cornflakes.
If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging, fool!
It was raining cats and dogs.
The food was so bland, it made you want to 'Slap Ya Mama'.
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Some Army ones.
Soup sandwich, mentioned earlier but just that no extra verbiage.
High speed low drag.
Blue Falcon.
F.U.B.A.R
Tore up from the floor up.
ID10T forum.
PRK-E5
Double D
We are gonna have a GI Party
There are more I cant remember and probably most I cant say on here.
FUBAR is the name of my dog.😆
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For the hunters - It was like walking on Cornflakes.
If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging, fool!
It was raining cats and dogs.
The food was so bland, it made you want to 'Slap Ya Mama'.
side trip.. ;)
when I was young grandma always had a couple cans of Old Bay seasoning around I think she used it for just about everything...I still use it for my fried egg sandwiches...
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For the Air Force guy's, that I still say before a long trip today...
"Kick the tires and light the fires"
"If she ain't leaking... she's empty"
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This one is my personal "claims to fame".... on late nights at the bar Hoosier Momma will call me out.
"say it"
No matter how intoxicated I can recite it. (years if experience)
Misten Lister... you ain't so muckin futch.
Why don't you back off in your own jack yard...
and see how that makes your feeter peel.
usually about 2:00am
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Take me drunk I'm home.
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Hello home, I'm honey.
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There's more confusion in her head than a sack of wet mice.
He's happier than a dog sniffing a bucket full of butt holes.
That went over like a fart in a elevator.
Don't let the door hit ya where the Lord split ya.
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Some Army ones.
Soup sandwich, mentioned earlier but just that no extra verbiage.
High speed low drag.
Blue Falcon.
F.U.B.A.R
Tore up from the floor up.
ID10T forum.
PRK-E5
Double D
We are gonna have a GI Party
There are more I cant remember and probably most I cant say on here.
FUBAR is the name of my dog.😆
That is a great name and that has to be the best doggo in the world if it is the one in your avatar.
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Close enough for government work. [The best definition I ever heard for this is "Measure it with a micrometer, mark it with chalk and cut it with a hatchet."]
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Close enough, we ain't building a piano.
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.......... that's okay, can't see it from my house!
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It ain't rocket surgery.
If brains were bullets, he wouldn't have enough ammo to blow his nose.
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Opinion are like arse holes everyone has one...
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Opinion are like arse holes everyone has one...
Some stink worse than others.
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Opinion are like arse holes everyone has one...
Some stink worse than others.
OR... "Everyone's stinks but yours"
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"HI HOME... I'M HONEY!"
"I'm going home to pet the Wife and kiss the Dog"
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"HI HOME... I'M HONEY!"
"I'm going home to pet the Wife and kiss the Dog"
I fully beleave you say and do that about every day after work.
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OH, THE INSANITY.. ;)
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"HI HOME... I'M HONEY!"
"I'm going home to pet the Wife and kiss the Dog"
I fully beleave you say and do that about every day after work.
Maaaaaaybe. ;)
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OH, THE INSANITY.. ;)
Well someone had to say it.
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OH, THE INSANITY.. ;)
Well someone had to say it.
One big happy family.. ;)
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Bet ya didn't see that one coming, did ya..?
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I was waiting lol.
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like a dog with a bone... I bet...
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Don't Drink and Drive
Turn around Don't drown
Buckle up for safety!
Speed kills. Slow down and live.
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Better to burp and taste it than fart and waste it.
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I always get in the last word with my wife, Yes dear.
Better to fart and bear the shame than hold it and bear the pain.
It's not my fault, it's your turn
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Stick it to the man...
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"Sock it to me"
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It's not that mine don't stink, I'm just used to the smell.
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"Sock it to me"
Before he died in 1991, the actor Regis Toomey invented a new type of electrical plug-in. It was called the Socket Toomey.
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I heard this on a cold New Year’s Eve while drinking in a fish house on Big Pine, “You can’t live with em, and you can’t push em under the ice.”
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"Never trust anything that bleeds for 4 days and doesn't die."
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Another favorite-"Not my circus, not my monkeys"
Jesse
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Heres a few my dad always said growing up.
Close only counts with horseshoes and hand grenades.
If it was a snake it woulda bit ya.
Wish in one hand ____ in the other and see which fills up quicker.
At least we weren't completely skunked
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he has missed the bus and fell seated, with his but on the ground
more lost than the son of on mother's day
worse than a drunk beggar's fight
he fell of ripeness
with the heart empty but the cup always full
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He's got a heart as big as the whole outdoors but not one brain in his poor old head.
That's more of a movie quote ( i'll let you guys guess the movie ) but sounds like it could be a common saying
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It's their ballgame, I'm just swinging the bat.
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If it ain't broke don't fix it.
If it ain't broke fix it till it is.
These 2 are my favorites because thats kind of how I feel about most things these days.
How many things weren't broke but have been changed for no reason.
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.....Can't get there from here....
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Be kind to the people you meet on your way up because you will meet them again on your way down!
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you will get. [Forrest Gump]
This is my rifle; this is my gun. One is for fighting; the other is for FUN.
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Too many cooks in the kitchen.
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One of my favorites as a manager...
"If you treat everyone special, no one gets special treatment"
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Couldn't pour wet out of a leaky boot with the instructions written on the heel
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OK I'll try it again...Couldn't pour "urine" out of a leaky boot with the instructions written on the heel
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I had the same problem with that word so here goes....
"Doesn't have a pot to pea in, or a window to throw it out of."
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"silence is golden... But duck tape is silver"
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Silence is bliss unless you have kids.
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He's got a heart as big as the whole outdoors but not one brain in his poor old head.
That's more of a movie quote ( i'll let you guys guess the movie ) but sounds like it could be a common saying
Support Your Local Sherrif it was just on.
Bob
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Too many cooks in the kitchen.
That reminds me of another one-
"Too many chiefs, not enough Indians"
Jesse
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"All hat, no cattle."
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This theory/topic/thread has legs.. ;)
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french origins?
Bon appétit.
La vie est trop courte pour boire du mauvais vin, "Life is too short to drink bad wine"
Mangez bien, riez souvent, aimez beaucoup "Eat well, laugh often, love abundantly."
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french origins?
Bon appétit.
La vie est trop courte pour boire du mauvais vin, "Life is too short to drink bad wine"
Mangez bien, riez souvent, aimez beaucoup "Eat well, laugh often, love abundantly."
And one from South Louisiana:
Laissez le bon temps rouler! <--- Let the good times roll!
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Life is too short unless you make it miserable.. then it gets really long.
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its your own fault...
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Lay with dogs and you'll wake up with fleas.
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The place is going to the dogs.
Don't be poking a mean dog with a short stick.
Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie.
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Dog, man's best friend... until it's not... :o
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An Irishman is never drunk if he can hold onto a blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.
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I happen to be living proof of that.
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Must have been kissing the Blarney Stone...
full of baloney...
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Speaking about dogs [of course]
Its bark is worse than its bite.
And for the record: I was bicycle riding when I met a dog whose bite was much worse than it bark. Never heard it coming.
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A Piece of Cake
An Apple a Day Keeps The Doctor Away
Bigger Fish To Fry
Cut The Mustard
Driving Me Nuts
Easy As Pie
Eat My Dust
How Do You Like Them Apples?
That’s Just Icing On The Cake
If You Can’t Stand The Heat, Stay Out Of The Kitchen
In a Pickle
Quit Cold Turkey
Spill The Beans
Stick a Fork In It
Take It With a Grain of Salt
The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree
Two Peas In a Pod
What Am I, Chopped Liver
You Can’t Have Your Cake And Eat It Too
Cry Over Spilled Milk
Cup of Joe
No Sense Crying Over Spilled Milk
Not My Cup Of Tea
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A cold day in h#ll.
People in h#ll want ice water.
A snowball's chance in h#ll.
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H3!!'s fire and brimstone. [Brimstone is another name for sulfur (Atomic number 16). Yuck!!]
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"What does not kill you will make you stronger" is a lie.
Reality is: What does not kill you immediately will eventually kill you slowly and painfully.
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Lead, Follow, or GET OUT OF THE WAY!
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My teeth are floatin"
Come he!! or high water
It's a catch 22 situation
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So far, so good!
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The light at the end of the tunnel.
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"Big frog in a little pond"
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The light at the end of the tunnel.
Usually a train coming at you ;)
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I think my dad's favorite was " If I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all."
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If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
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Beer is a solution.
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We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them...
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Few more-
More fun than a barrel of monkeys
Opening a can of worms
Tilting at windmills
Quicker than greased lightening
Bold as brass
Jesse
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Like a bat out of *(&^.
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My mom was from North Dakota and something or someone was "Slower than molasses in January"
My mother-in-law said- "A skunk always smells it's own pew first." When someone asked "Who farted?"
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Lead, Follow, or GET OUT OF THE WAY!
Amen! Poop or get off the pot!
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it's not me on the way it's you who's too dense
8)
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Some Jamaican sayings...
Translated, of course.
“When you throw a stone in a pig pen, the one that squeals is the one that got hit.”
“A thief never likes to see another thief with more stolen goods than they have.”
“We’re little but we’re mighty.”
“The higher the monkey climbs, the more he exposes himself.”
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”
“Bend the tree when it’s young because when it’s old, it’ll break.”
“A ghost knows who to scare and who to tell goodnight.”
“The same bird who brings gossip is the same bird that takes it back.”
“A pig hides under sheep’s wool, but his grunt betrays him.”
“Before you get married, keep both eyes open; after you’re married, shut one.”
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“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”
My country raised Grandmother would say that often.
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I like the last one.
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I'm not bossy I just know what you should be doing!
-Said every warden/wife ever.
(https://thumbs.gfycat.com/WastefulFavorableDegus.webp)
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Being an avid bicycle rider for the last 39 years, I use this one often:
Life is like baseball. It is the number of time you reach home safely that counts.
Also: The life you save may be your own. Drive safely!
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If I had your money I would burn mine.
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Can't fix stupid, even with Duct Tape!
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Can't see the forest for the trees
It's the bee's knee's
Louder than a stuck pig
Jesse
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Some Jamaican sayings...
Translated, of course.
quite a Jamaican connoisseur you, reminded me of an African saying
"Kindly let me help or you"ll drown said the monkey, putting the fish safely up a tree"
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8)
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8)
LOL!!
Jesse
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He's got a heart as big as the whole outdoors but not one brain in his poor old head.
That's more of a movie quote ( i'll let you guys guess the movie ) but sounds like it could be a common saying
Support Your Local Sherrif it was just on.
Bob
Yep.
One of my absolute favorites.
James garner was so great, but then so was harry Morgan, Jack Elam, Gene Evan's, and Walter brennan.
I be Bruce dern is still alive.
Bruce dern always made a great bad guy, with that kind of evil looking weaselly smile he has.
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An apple a day keeps the rust away. ( peeling/ eating apples is how I develop the patina that protects my knives)
(https://i.postimg.cc/mgzsg4dz/20211119-105310.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/K12V06hx)
Razor sharp.
Hair popping sharp.
Scary sharp.
I've been known to circumcise a gnat.
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An apple a day keeps the rust away. ( peeling/ eating apples is how I develop the patina that protects my knives)
(https://i.postimg.cc/mgzsg4dz/20211119-105310.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/K12V06hx)
Razor sharp.
Hair popping sharp.
Scary sharp.
I've been known to circumcise a gnat.
You should see the blades on our apple peeling / coring machine at work :)
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always taking the back roads...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R9GrGheMRw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R9GrGheMRw)
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another song that comes from a saying...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__HPfmvaWRw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__HPfmvaWRw)
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couple more songs from sayings...
do it till we're black and blue...
wanna be a rock star...
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Party til ya puke.
That's usually when I get my second wind.... ;D
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My father always recounted a sign on the front door of an old bar "liquor in the front, poker in the rear"
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This might be just from my family:
Wolverines raise wolverines.
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Monkey see, monkey do.
When in Rome.... y'all know the rest.
Rome wasn't built in a day.... but it burned pretty fast.
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Don't think I saw this yet...
Shaking like a dog sh*ting razor blades.
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Don't think I saw this yet...
Shaking like a dog sh*ting razor blades.
Can't say I ever seen a dog do that either.
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If your dog is pooping razor blades maybe put them in a different location.
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No need, I doubt that dog will do it again.
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^(^^%$#^.... Twist my words.
Post made perfect sense in my head. ::)
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Combined two saying into one:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
out with the old, in with the new.
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Oh... so now we are going to poems?
Roses are Red, Violets are blue...
If you think this is going to rhyme.. You're wrong.
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Automobile expressions:
That one is a creampuff.
Kick the tires.
Drive it like you stole it.
Pedal to the metal.
Mash your gas.
Hammer down.
Running on empty.
Motion lotion. Go juice.
Stick shift. Four on the floor. Three on the tree.
Kick it into overdrive. Hit the passing gear.
-
Automobile expressions:
If it has t*ts or tires, you're going to have trouble with it.
-
I like the Extra gum commercial
Chew it
Before you do it
Bob
-
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence...
All bark, no bite...
If wishes were fishes there wouldn't be enough sea...
Jesse
-
Green grass on the other side too.
-
He's got more screws loose then a hardware store in a tornado!
-
Let me put this on PAUSE for a moment
No, really, let me put this on pause to thank everyone for their input.
Now, I return you to the previously scheduled program.
-
Alligator mouth and a goldfish a$s.
Steak appetite on a bologna budget.
Put your money where your mouth is.
Put up or shut up.
-
Alligator mouth and a goldfish a$s.
???
Can ya use that in a sentence for us Bill?
???
-
"Bubbah was so liquored up, his puny butt was just itchin to get whooped on.
He had an Alligator mouth and a goldfish a$s." ;D
Similar to "Don't let your mouth write a check your a$s can't cover"
-
I think some people are spending too much time studying and contemplating the rear ends of Goldfish. :-\
-
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME!
-
I think some people are spending too much time studying and contemplating the rear ends of Goldfish. :-\
true dat 🤣
-
For an old boy living out in the country, a long pee on a tall tree! 😁
-
For an old boy living out in the country, a long pee on a tall tree! 😁
Never pee on an electric fence
or into the wind.
-
Don't spit on superman's cape
-
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME!
Every time I hear that I remember a former leader of ours who blew that line trying to say it on tv once. A version I've always heard of the other saying is don't let your gator mouth write a check your lizard butt can't cash.
-
You'll shoot your eye out kid.
-
Don't spit on superman's cape
As Jim Croce wrote it:
"You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim"
-
So slow his shadow is two paces ahead
-
If he was any slower, he'd be in reverse.
-
I really put my foot in my mouth when I said . . . .
It'll be a cold day in h3!! when . . . .
Don't throw out the baby with the bath water.
It would be a long time dead if it had been a good hunting dog.
Out of the frying pan into the fire.
-
Penny for your thoughts...
However, I find many aren't worth the price.
-
Penny for your thoughts...
However, I find many aren't worth the price.
Betcha can't eat one!
(Lays chips of course!)
-
Penny for your thoughts...
However, I find many aren't worth the price.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances on Saturday night, thus halving the price
just learned that one from google
-
get to the point...
"jump if you feel froggy"
-
smells like somethin' crawed on up in there and died...
-
I might not always be right but I ain't never wrong
-
Robert, that one reminds me of a guy with whom I shot pool. He would brag that he was GOOD. Then, when someone would say they didn't think that he was very good. He would come back with "Maybe I'm not too good; but I don't miss!
And he didn't miss often.
-
I was only wrong once in my life and that was one time that I thought I was wrong.
-
I might not always be right but I ain't never wrong
I heard my dad say that countless times.
"No brag, just fact!" was another
-
I was only wrong once in my life and that was one time that I thought I was wrong.
I was only wrong once in my life and that was one time that I thought I was wrong but, I was mistaken.
-
I was only wrong once in my life and that was one time that I thought I was wrong.
I was only wrong once in my life and that was one time that I thought I was wrong but, I was mistaken.
'zactly
-
I'll jerk a knot in your fanny.
I'll put something on you Mr. Clean can't get off
-
Must have brought out a can of Whoop Arse...
-
Don't bite the hand that feeds you... :o
-
If you are going to complain about farmers, don't do it with your mouth full.
-
I might not always be right but I ain't never wrong
I heard my dad say that countless times.
"No brag, just fact!" was another
"No brag, just fact!"
from "The Guns of Will Sonnet" starring Walter Brennan....... ;D
-
Two thing my Grandmother used to tell me when I was young...
"I'm gonna wring your neck."
"I'm gonna skin you alive and nail your hide to the barn."
Sweet old lady she was. ;)
-
Wendell -- "No brag, just fact!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j1qkorFszY (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j1qkorFszY)
And Scott, you had one tough grandmother.
-
My Grandfather scared us kids to death with - I'll turn your nose up and let the rain drown you!!
-
Hmmm... all my grandmother used to say is "Close the door boy, I'm poopin".
-
I might not always be right but I ain't never wrong
I heard my dad say that countless times.
"No brag, just fact!" was another
"No brag, just fact!"
from "The Guns of Will Sonnet" starring Walter Brennan....... ;D
:o Walter Brennan borrowed it! :o ;D LOL
-
I might not always be right but I ain't never wrong
I heard my dad say that countless times.
"No brag, just fact!" was another
"No brag, just fact!"
from "The Guns of Will Sonnet" starring Walter Brennan....... ;D
:o Walter Brennan borrowed it! :o ;D LOL
;D ;D ;D
-
With my Grandma it was "go cut me a switch"
this was after being caught swimin' in the creek a after being told not to... cottonmouths...me and bro were
" So hard headed could use our heads to sharpen knives"... Grandpa's words...
-
Mama used to tell me,
If you are not home by midnight don't bother coming in. Just sleep outside. :D ;)
Bob
-
If you break it, you bought it.
-
Like a bull in a China Shop.
He's all thumbs.
He has a 'green thumb'.
He rode his thumb home. (Back when guys still hitch-hiked.)
You can't get there from here.
Who's your daddy?
Your mama wears combat boots.
-
The Customer is always right.
-
The Customer is always right.
If wanna dance, you gotta pay the fiddler....
-
Reference to Religious subject removed. If you have questions see rule 3..
-
Mama used to tell me,
If you are not home by midnight don't bother coming in. Just sleep outside. :D ;)
Bob
My dad always told me exactly that until I was almost 20 (and to my sister until she graduated College at 22!) and he meant it. He would use the door chain to block our entry, but mom would undo the chain after he fell asleep which was usually no later than Midnight, and I was able to sneak back in with my key.
The 1 and only time dad had coffee late and managed to stay up, he caught me trying to get in around 1am. He would get cranky when tired and missed his bedtime, so I knew this was going to get ugly. After he told me his house, his rules etc., he would not let me in, so I slept at my best friend's house. I called the next day (Sunday) in the afternoon and my mom said they were both worried sick about me, which I knew and why I called late the next day :) I told her to tell dad that if he does that to me 1 more time, I would sign up for Room & Board at school and move out, or rent a room in town. Mom said OK I told him and he is nodding... and so ended the Midnight rule for me. My sister had to endure it a couple of years longer than I did.
-
LOL we lived way out in the country and had no place to go. So slept in the barn.
Bob
-
Mama used to tell me,
If you are not home by midnight don't bother coming in. Just sleep outside. :D ;)
Bob
My dad always told me exactly that until I was almost 20 (and to my sister until she graduated College at 22!) and he meant it. He would use the door chain to block our entry, but mom would undo the chain after he fell asleep which was usually no later than Midnight, and I was able to sneak back in with my key.
The 1 and only time dad had coffee late and managed to stay up, he caught me trying to get in around 1am. He would get cranky when tired and missed his bedtime, so I knew this was going to get ugly. After he told me his house, his rules etc., he would not let me in, so I slept at my best friend's house. I called the next day (Sunday) in the afternoon and my mom said they were both worried sick about me, which I knew and why I called late the next day :) I told her to tell dad that if he does that to me 1 more time, I would sign up for Room & Board at school and move out, or rent a room in town. Mom said OK I told him and he is nodding... and so ended the Midnight rule for me. My sister had to endure it a couple of years longer than I did.
My parents really just had a curfew for me until I was 16 or 17 as I remember. I know I was driving (I got my Drivers License at 15 1/2) and staying out late (12:00-3:30AM) and just had to be quiet when I came in. Now had I gotten in ANY trouble life would have been over, LOL. My dad was a Police Reserve Officer, owned his own business, and taught nights at the College, so he had eyes everywhere! My parents taught us how to think and make good decisions growing up and match freedom and with responsibility as we aged. I had keys to my parents vehicles and always asked if I needed to use one of them. Well, my dad did tell me I could just take his 1972 CB350 and Yamaha 175 anytime so I didn't ask to ride them. I did ride those bikes hard but never crash/damaged the CB but I did highside the Yamaha 175 on a dirt oval at about 50mph but it had minor damage that I payed for and repaired. Come to think of it his eyes were not off road, ;) or at least none caught me jumping the CB350 or ring it like a dirt bike. At the sand drags in the riverbed my older brother crashed it when he tried to ride like I did. I did get in some trouble for letting my older brother ride it. :-[
Now back to the topic. ;) ;)
-
If the shoe fits, wear it.
-
If the shoe fits, wear it.
That one belongs in the "Manly footware' thread.
-
Bob's your uncle.
-
I thought it was "well I'll be a monkeys uncle" ?
Had a real gully washer of a morning.
-
I thought it was "well I'll be a monkeys uncle" ?
You are correct, Bob :)
-
"You just wait until we find out who your father is, young man" !
No wait, that's wrong... my bad.
-
Bill,
That reminds me of what happened to a self-important old man at the help desk in a large mall:
old man: "Hello"
desk: carries on with serving another patron
old man: "Excuse me"
desk: carries on with next person in line
old man gets to front of the line: "Do you know who I am?"
desk gets on public address system: "We have an old man at the help desk who does not know who he is. He is dressed in a gray suit. If he belongs to you, please come and claim him".
-
Funny
-
Throw the cow over the fence some hay!
-
"You just wait until we find out who your father is, young man" !
No wait, that's wrong... my bad.
True story. Wife had the kids in the car waiting at a stop light when a guy pulls up along side of the car on a M/C waiting for the same light. Windows were down and who, but my middle daughter aka trouble maker looks at the guy who has a full coverage helmet on says "are you my daddy"? The guy is trying shrinking down on his bike trying to disappear.lol luckily for the guy the light changes and he takes off like a bat out of he77 . She really thought it might be me as I ware a full coverage helmet. Still get a giggle out of it 40 years later.
-
Had a real gully washer of a morning.
Guess it was raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock.
-
And booming like a artillery barge.
-
Short on ears long on mouth.
-
Well, a deep subject for shallow minds.
Curiouscity killed the cat but satisfaction brought him back.
-
Well spank my arse and call me Charley.
F... Me running, backwards.
-
Our version is " Knock me down and call me Shorty."
-
. . . don't shoot the snake in the bottom of the boat.
. . . don't kill the messenger.
You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed.
If I had wanted your opinion, I would have rattled your cage.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
-
High school teacher used to say...
"I'm gonna slap seven kinds of dog water out of you"
-
Dog water well I know what you meant but that's funny.
-
yep,
Don't eat yellow snow...
-
If I wanted any $h1t from you I would unscrew your head and dip it out.. 8)
-
High school teacher used to say...
"I'm gonna slap seven kinds of dog water out of you"
I had teacher that said, "Just pop your whip young man, just pop your whip"
Bob
-
That reminded me of what I used to hear sometimes back in the day, "Go pick your switch". Thankfully it wasn't a common saying for me.
-
Boy, I am going to hit you so hard, your grandchildren will be born dizzy!
And from my father-in-law, while consuming a bowl of Gumbo: "I wonder what the rich people are eating?"
-
"Gag a magot off a gut wagon"
-
That reminded me of what I used to hear sometimes back in the day, "Go pick your switch". Thankfully it wasn't a common saying for me.
I had to pick my own switch more than once...
Off a "Pu$$y Willow" bush. Anyone who knows what that is knows they are long, thin, and flexible ::)
-
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose.
But it is not proper to pick your friend's nose.
-
"A woman's breast is the hardest rock that the almighty ever made"
And gosh how I love them ;)
-
"Be alert..the world needs more lerts"
-
"A woman's breast is the hardest rock that the almighty ever made"
And gosh how I love them ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTgRjgQGbn0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTgRjgQGbn0)
I watched 'Jeremiah Johnson' several times, and enjoyed it more each watching.
-
I watched it last night again myself. ;)
-
If I wanted any $h1t from you I would unscrew your head and dip it out.. 8)
sounds like some one who planned on...
Live fast, love hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse...
But bill...
ya done missed them Boats.. ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1M5LwNg_Yc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1M5LwNg_Yc)
-
Not sure, I've heard people say I'd look better dead than alive... but that was in another life.
-
Hunter S. Thompson...
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"
-
Hunter S. Thompson...
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"
I live by that saying! ❣️
-
"Well, the operation was a success, however, the patient has died." :o
-
Win the battle but lose the war.
Choose your battles
-
Never trust a fart after a heavy night of eating chili.
Someone thought I was gonna say drinking...
-
"pull my finger"
-
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. <--- Yes, I know this one has been mentioned already. But I am running it by again. It may apply to my last purchase from Pyramyd Air! Details as the negotiations become complete. Not meant to be a bashing - just facts.
-
Don't go half cocked
-
Robert, that goes along with
"Flash in the pan"
-
"you ain't seen nothin' yet....
-
"you ain't seen nothin' yet....
You forgot"hold my beer" at the beginning of that.
-
"Don't buy a Pig in a poke"
For us Yankee's a "poke" is a bag.
In other words don't buy what you can't see.
-
Not tonight I've got a headache. ::)
Bob
-
Not tonight I've got a headache. ::)
Bob
That's not what she said ;D
-
Way back when I heard it all the time.
Bob
-
Never trust a fart after a heavy night of eating chili.
Someone thought I was gonna say drinking...
that was my thought everyday when i had IBS
-
"you ain't seen nothin' yet....
You forgot"hold my beer" at the beginning of that.
;D ;D ;D
-
OLD MAN'S CODE
Never pass a restroom
Never trust a fart
Never waste a hard-on
-
OLD MAN'S CODE
Never pass a restroom
Never trust a fart
Never waste a hard-on
How old?
Bob
-
"If the brakes don't stop it something will"
I heard it first on an ins. commercial, but I have used that saying a few times since. ;D
-
"If the brakes don't stop it something will"
I heard it first on an ins. commercial, but I have used that saying a few times since. ;D
If the brakes quit find something cheap to stop with.
-
Know when to say "When".
We will be friends to the end. And this is the end, my friend.
Take this job and 'shove' it.
-
Beards can be useful. ;D
-
OLD MAN'S CODE
Never pass a restroom
Never trust a fart
Never waste a hard-on
How old?
Bob
You will know when you are that old.
-
OLD MAN'S CODE
Never pass a restroom
Never trust a fart
Never waste a hard-on
How old?
Bob
You will know when you are that old.
I do 2 of the 3 now at 37 which 2 well...
-
OLD MAN'S CODE
Never pass a restroom
Never trust a fart
Never waste a hard-on
How old?
Bob
You will know when you are that old.
Dang I must be really old. I can only do the first 2.
Bob
-
15 pages are we,
"Beating a dead horse"..?
-
Your about as useful as an ash tray on a motor cycle.
-
Or a screen door on a submarine.🤗
-
Heard this one a lot as a kid from my Dad...
"I’m not just talkin’ to hear my head roar"
-
A long time back, in the 1980s, I worked at --now well-known restaurant in this general area, The Common Man-- and the owner told us a story about a couple of old men he saw at another establishment. Both had had just about enough to drink. One of the men would say something clearly profound and the other would say, "Good Point, well worth mentioning!" and then the other man would spout something equally rapturing and the first would reply with, "GOOD POINT! Well worth mentioning!"
This went on for a good half hour before they were both asked to leave due to legal reasons......
so... from then on, I have taken on that as my own line when I hear something I have no other words for.
It's amazing how well it fits in so many places.
~GOOD POINT, Well worth mentioning~!
-
scarcer than hen's teeth
-
When I get asked about what if's when I am hauling explosives.
My response is "If anything happens it wont be my problem there will be nothing left, well maybe a giant hole in the ground..."
-
Matt, have you ever said: If you see me running, KEEP UP!
-
No but people I work with tried that. I know better the stuff I handle is not something you can run from its instant. If its gonna blow and you happen to survive well the others that didn't got lucky.
-
"That's a Doosy"
Actually that is the way most spell it ... but is wrong.
It should be "Duesy" after the high class automobile made right here in North East Indiana before the great depression.
Duesenbergs were the top of the line in their hay-day...owned by the elite and movie stars.
A "Duesy" was the best you could get.
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTXgsHssdlIauVGc64O-1FDTGY_2bR5JEU3Yg&usqp=CAU)
-
"Chucked full.."
https://youtu.be/1Q5jNQePVgk
-
Or a screen door on a submarine.🤗
They have Flex Seal for that now ;)
-
It's time to hike your skirt and get to work.
It's time to tie your bonnet and get on it.
It's time to get some hustle in that muscle.
-
If brains were dynamite, he didn't have enough to blow his nose!
-
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.” –Forrest Gump.
-
Hot enough to fry an egg on the pavement! :o
-
Its so hot out I cant tell is I sharted or blew the sweat off my @@@.
-
Catch phrases become sayings also, Go Ahead Make My Day :)
-
Directions to New York City...
North til you smell it, east til you step in it.
-
From Mike Vrabel, Head Coach of the Tennessee TITANS, when referring to one of his palyers:
Tough as a two-dollar steak!
-
Do bears poop in the woods ? ;D
-
Does a cat have a climbing gear?
-
By hook or by crook. Tried to search if that's already been said here since I can't remember but search function wouldn't work.
-
From Mike Vrabel, Head Coach of the Tennessee TITANS, when referring to one of his palyers:
Tough as a two-dollar steak!
Phoney as a $3 bill.
Dry as a popcorn fart.
As useful as a screen door on a submarine.
-
Nuttier than an attic full of squirrel scat.
It's as hot as my exes in thongs.
It's almost as cold as my ex.
-
"Put your nose to the Grind stone"
Meant hard labor... Grand-Dad had one, imagine putting you nose to that sharpening a tool.
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSO0FfIUN6G9PdLoJK54wB1yFSdJUvB5zYBYg&usqp=CAU)
-
Not sure if these have already been submitted.
Close the barn door after the horse is gone.
Sweatin like a @#$%^& in church.
-
"Put your nose to the Grind stone"
Meant hard labor... Grand-Dad had one, imagine putting you nose to that sharpening a tool.
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSO0FfIUN6G9PdLoJK54wB1yFSdJUvB5zYBYg&usqp=CAU)
Meh!
(https://www.gatewaytoairguns.org/GTA/MGalleryItem.php?id=7613)
-
Sweatin like my ex-wife in church.
FIXED... at least that is what I say in public. ;)
-
Nuttier then a porta potty on a peanut farm
-
Fine as frog hair.
-
Are you up yet?" <--- Bill's [Avatar] suggestion.
Thanks for the suggestion, Bill.
-
He's so slow you have to drive a peg in the ground to see if he's moving.
-
I'll slap you silly.
-
Cold as a witch's titty.
-
Dumb as dirt.
-
Sharp as a tack.
-
▪I'll slap you into next week.
▪you're so ugly I ought to shave your butt and make you walk backwards
▪if you can't say anything nice about 'em just don't say anything
▪I'll squeeze yo head like an orange boy
-
Such it up buttercup.
Pay me now or pay me later
Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back.
-
When you help your friends, remember friends don't keep score.
Grief never gets lighter you just get used to carrying the weight.
-
"Get what you want and want what you've got!" ---- copied from one of Archie's (Arch_E) posts.
-
Let's get ready to rumble!
Let's get it on!
Get to the gettin' and do the doin'.
Ain't nothin' to it but to do it.
Git r dun.
Make it happen captain.
Let's make it happening! (Tony Beets version)
Kill em all let God sort em out!
-
The past shapes the future.
-
Put out or get out
-
Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.
-
Not sure if anyone has said it is raining cats n dogs ? Well it is there is a large poodle in the driveway, Good thing I was awake enough to see it and not step in it.
-
when we do right, no one remembers...
when we do wrong, no one forgets.
-
Take what you want but eat what you take.
Bob
-
We are not good because we are old; but old because we are good. <--- Part of a business advertisement.
Cowboy coffee: It was so strong, you could float a horseshoe in it.
It was soooo dark, you could not see your hand in front of your face.
I could hear the grass growing.
-
Drank enough to tote a battleship around.
-
Hotter than a polar bear at a cookout.
-
Cold as a witch's titty.
...in a brass brassier
That is what I always heard. ;)
-
From the Great Depression:
"Use it up,
Wear it out,
Make do
Or do without"
-
All you woodworkers and welder/fabricators can relate to this.
Measure twice...cut once.
-
All you woodworkers and welder/fabricators can relate to this.
Measure twice...cut once.
And go get the bord stretcher :)
-
Left handed monkey driver.
-
Put your Big Boy Boots on
-
Metric Crescent wrench [that would be an adjustable wrench].
-
You are ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
-
Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries.
-
You'll never never know if you never never go.
-
Back during the depression, the WPA was formed called "we piddle around" They had 4-man crews
2 coming 2 going 2 s4itting and 2 snoring. Came from my grandpa
Bob
-
Trust is hard to build but easy to break.
-
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
-
Second place is only the first loser... ;)
-
Somebody step on a duck?
-
a day late and a dollar short
-
Dave, my father sold automobile and used that saying often.
Another that was posted in his dealership lobby was: I have no quarrel with someone who sells at a lower price than mine. We both know the value of what we sell.
-
Yep, you get what you pay for.
Bob
-
;D
-
Art, that picture made me think of another saying I have used often: That is priceless!
Good one.
-
You are what you eat!!!
I've never thought saying this to a person was flattering.
So if you eat vegetables you're a Vegetable?
I've always thought if a person was a vegetable they were considered brain dead, on life support.
So if you eat shrimp you're a shrimp?
This food must be for skinny people
So if you eat chicken you must be a coward.
-
So, if you eat beef you're full of BS?
-
If you eat eggs you have potential. ;D
-
This one was advice from my father about using an axe.
Hit where you look, not look where you hit.
It also works for shooting.
-
One of my mother's favorite sayings.. it was usually accompanied by "the look"....
"What do you want when you act like that?"
-
Bill I just noticed this saying from another thread you responded to.
It's too good not to add to these 'sayings'.
This is from Bill (Avator)
" Let 'er rip tater chip "
I apologize if this has already been added.
-
Bill I just noticed this saying from another thread you responded to.
It's too good not to add to these 'sayings'.
This is from Bill (Avator)
" Let 'er rip tater chip "
I apologize if this has already been added.
LOL... I use that one alot.
I first heard it from Richard Rawlings on Gas Monkey Garage.
-
When I see someone walk into something, especially a trailer ball on the back of a truck. I always have to blurt out...
Bet that'll leave a mark!!
OR
Bet ya didn't see that comin'!!
-
Think that'll buff out.
-
Think that'll buff out.
Is HD’s “lickety lick” a saying? ???
-
Think that'll buff out.
Is HD’s “lickety lick” a saying? ???
I heard "Lickity split" a lot growing up
-
Pull my finger
-
Think that'll buff out.
Is HD’s “lickety lick” a saying? ???
;DI heard "Lickity split" a lot growing up
Must have read it wrong.
Lickity lick sounds very naughty though, and something HD would concoct ;D
-
Well it was there yesterday.
Just go figure
-
LOL... I use that one alot.
I first heard it from Richard Rawlings on Gas Monkey Garage.
I always wondered why people don't say let'r rip cheddar dip. After all you'll rip way more on cheddar dip than tater chips. I feel the same with winner winner grinner dinner instead of chicken. ;)
The one who smelt it dealt it. The one who denied it supplied it. A silent one is a violent one.
-
LOL... I use that one alot.
I first heard it from Richard Rawlings on Gas Monkey Garage.
I always wondered why people don't say let'r rip cheddar dip. After all you'll rip way more on cheddar dip than tater chips. I feel the same with winner winner grinner dinner instead of chicken. ;)
The one who smelt it dealt it. The one who denied it supplied it. A silent one is a violent one.
Yeah, a silent and hot fart violates the olfactory sense the most 😬
-
As opposed to a cold fart or old fart?🤔
-
Reminds me of a saying I used to always hear from my Dad...
"the dog did it".... :o
-
That's funny, my dogs blame stuff on me.... ???
It had to be me, no way Betty Lou's babies would do that.
-
Pull my finger.🤢
-
Okay, you guys forced me to post this video. I wasn't going to; but you are to blame:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXCzl_WgaE4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXCzl_WgaE4)
-
Never go faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Bob
-
You will beat the first responder by at least 15 minuets.
-
Better to far+ and bear the shame than hold it and bear the pain.
-
Better to burp and taste it than fart and waist it.
-
Keep your booger digger off the boom switch
-
Keep your booger digger off the boom switch
I prefer the variant of "keep you booger hook off the bang switch". Guess it is generational from the Army?
-
Better to burp and taste it than fart and waist it.
hehehe
Go fart yourself. Get the fart outta here. ;)
About guardian angels I know they fly at least 135mph because when I was a young punk that's how fast I was going when I should've died swerving to miss a dog then spinning the car on a narrow 2 lane road with deep ditches for the next 1/4 mile until I finally safely came to a stop. I was shaking uncontrollably from the event. My cousin racing behind me when it happened said he thought he was watching me die in front of him. My car turned at least 3 full circles with the tires skidding. Some dude watching from his front patio came running up saying that was the best driving he'd ever seen and how did I keep it on the road? I said I don't know because I should've been kibbles and bits scattered across many people's yards. Just wasn't my time is all I can say as many young people have died driving stupid.
-
I'm so old I'm farting dust, OK wishful thinking :)
-
Shape up or ship out.
Old one but good one.
-
Old one but good one.
Aka oldie but goodie
-
Useless as tit$ on a bore hog.
::)
-
My sister sent me an email in which she talked about an annual community ice cream party - everyone bring their favorite homemade ice cream. It is Saturday night and everyone is expected/encouraged to eat ice cream for supper.
Her email reminded me of the saying: Been there -- Did that!
Another from a friend: I'll drink to that!
Same friend also said he was going to open a can of whipa$$ on the guy that cut him off in traffic.
That guy later earned a Doctorate Degree and became a college professor.
-
It's 5pm somewhere
-
It's 5pm somewhere
It's beer 30 somewhere.
-
Beer lenses
-
Learn to crawl before you walk.
It's also closing time somewhere... :o
-
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
-
My mom said this a lot when something was special to her-"BOY HOWDY"
My Dad was fond of "CHIT FIRE AND SAVE MATCHES"
-
If we get to drinking on a Sunday and say you can spend the night, we don't really mean it.
-
it is not fatness it's excess of tastiness
-
Yep, round is a shape.
-
Pi r round not square.
Bob
-
Pi are round - Cornbread are square.
-
Removed blatantly political. Sorry folks, read the rules.
-
No politics including the sayings. Cut that nonsense out.
-
No politics including the sayings. Cut that nonsense out.
Huh?
-
No politics including the sayings. Cut that nonsense out.
Yeah, that would quickly add another 20 or so pages.... :o
-
Aim small - Miss small.
-
Learn to crawl before you walk.
It's also closing time somewhere... :o
...all the gals get prettier at closing time...
-
At 10 she was a 2. But at 2 she was a 10.
-
A Stitch in Time Saves Nine
The Early Bird Gets the Worm
or
The Second Mouse Gets the Cheese
-
You only need 1 parachute to jump out of a plane twice.
-
No politics including the sayings. Cut that nonsense out.
Yeah, that would quickly add another 20 or so pages.... :o
A large portion of the back room. If it were up to me alone you know what I'd do.
-
Hit every branch of the Ugly tree on the way down when She/He fell from the top
-
What... Me Worry?
-
Famous last words:
“Somebody hand me a match”
“Watch this”
“Hold my beer”
“This’ll be fun”
-
Whatever. (famous saying) ::)
-
Whatever. (famous saying) ::)
WhaT eVerah! and the r is silent. ;)
-
Whatever. (famous saying) ::)
WhaT eVerah! and the r is silent. ;)
What language is that ? ???
-
Whatever. (famous saying) ::)
WhaT eVerah! and the r is silent. ;)
What language is that ? ???
Valley.
-
Whatever. (famous saying) ::)
WhaT eVerah! and the r is silent. ;)
What language is that ? ???
Valley.
TOTALLY!
-
Move it or lose it.
-
Toot your horn and gun it!
Take the curve on two wheels.
Stop on a dime and give 5¢ change.
-
"Peel Out!"
-
Fire in the hole.
-
Make a hole, down ladder
-
Whatever. (famous saying) ::)
WhaT eVerah! and the r is silent. ;)
What language is that ? ???
Valley.
TOTALLY!
Yep! Exactly what I was thinking.
-
"Peel Out!"
was told I should explain myself....
"Peel out" is from when we were young, and drove rear wheel drive vehicles, and laid down 30-50 feet of rubber!
-
8)
-
8)
I agree, Totally! I totally agree! ;D
-
She's not fat she's just got it all.
Time to get the heck out of Dodge.
-
.:.
-
She's not fat. Just Big Boned.
-
Whatever. (famous saying) ::)
WhaT eVerah! and the r is silent. ;)
What language is that ? ???
Valley.
TOTALLY!
Yep! Exactly what I was thinking.
ChyAAh
-
Corn fed valley talk ? ???
-
I'm a vetranarian because I don't eat meat.hehe
-
I heard this tonight on GRIT tv and remembered my Grand-Dad telling me...
"I'll fan your Britches"
meant I was getting a spanking.
-
"Tan your hide"
-
Not going to read through twenty pages of replies, but "it goes without saying".
:D
-
So, are you 'judging the book by it's cover"?
-
I heard this tonight on GRIT tv and remembered my Grand-Dad telling me...
"I'll fan your Britches"
meant I was getting a spanking.
Yeah, been there, felt that. I had to go find my own switch (branch). If I didn't pick the right one, I got it doubly.
???
-
"The beatings will continue until moral improves."
-
Busier then a hooker with 2 mattresses.
-
Busier then a hooker with 2 mattresses.
You made that up.
-
Heck I've run out of anything to say ::)
Bob
-
Busier then a hooker with 2 mattresses.
You made that up.
Nope. Heard it in a movie today.
;D
-
Carpentry related:
I've seen better saw cuts from a beaver.
-
Someone in the movies facing ultimate death and destruction..."this is gonna sting a mite"
-
That's gonna leave a mark.
-
That 'ill buff out
-
8)
-
Saying in meme form but saying none the less.
-
You can shake it up and down.
You can slap it against the wall.
But you have to put it back in your pants before the last drop will fall.
-
Jeff [aka PRIVATEER] wrote it:
"Walk it off Big Boy! Walk it off!"
As I watched the Little League World Series, I thought ---> That's how the ball rolls.
Some others: Out if sight - Out of mind.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!
-
Success has many fathers but failure is an orphan.
-
"I ain't sleeping! Just checking my eyelids for holes!"
-
One of my favorites when I'm on a forklift and folks don't head the horn....
"I ain't killed nobody in 3 weeks".
-
One of my favorites when I'm on a forklift and folks don't head the horn....
"I ain't killed nobody in 3 weeks".
But the day ain't over yet. Jack palnce as Curly in City slickers.
-
"Ain't felt this good for an hour"
-
First drink of the day, with this hand.
-
The one I use while driving at work is," They don't like it when I run over somebody. Plus,I have to clean up the mess and I don't want to have to do that.... again."
-
When I did demolition work, I'd always tell my Guys.......
"It don't have to come down pretty. It just has to come down fast."
And I had a shirt made that said.....
On the front
Demolitions
On the back
If you see Me running
try to keep up
-
Within 1/4 inch, nail it.. we ain't building a piano.
-
"Beats a sharp stick in the eye"
-
Heard a girl say this the other day when asked about world events "I don't wanna think cuz I don't wanna sound stupid". Didn't realize how stupid she sounded by saying that but cracked me up!
-
Heard a girl say this the other day when asked about world events "I don't wanna think cuz I don't wanna sound stupid". Didn't realize how stupid she sounded by saying that but cracked me up!
Blonde?
-
"Put that in your pipe and smoke it."
-
Your Mom wears combat boots. 8)
-
Been waiting patiently for my ship to come in but found out the dang thing sunk!!😡😡😡
-
Heard a girl say this the other day when asked about world events "I don't wanna think cuz I don't wanna sound stupid". Didn't realize how stupid she sounded by saying that but cracked me up!
Blonde?
LOL Might as well have been but nope some dumb girls have brown hair too.
Yep Madd that ship sailed, burned and sunk. ;)
-
Some day my ship will come in, my luck I will be at the airport.
-
Mine will probably be a rubber raft... with a leak.
-
Heard this one a lot before I retired...
"Life s*cks and then you die!"
-
Born naked and downhill from there
-
My car's not leaking fluid it's just marking it's territory.
-
Heard this one a lot before I retired...
"Life s*cks and then you die!"
I thought it was "you're born, life not worthy, and then you die"!
-
Its the abridged version.
-
When thing were not going well for him, a friend would say: I am going to drop back 15 and punt!
-
"about as much chance as a snowball in H*ll
-
If you say so.
I told you so.
-
If you say so.
I told you so.
"Is that right?"
-
Do what ever you want.
-
^ usually accompanied with the eye roll ^
-
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
-
If it's possible to have a one word saying, here's one that makes my blood boil.
WHATEVER !
And as Scott put it this one is usually accompanied with the eye roll as well.
-
Really ? Wow
-
Why?
Because I said so.
Go ask your daddy.
Mamma said it was ok if you say it's ok.
-
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
I never used this one; but I heard someone add
. . . but do it first!
-
Going on 60 years and I still need to reminded of this....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fYngTUZeUQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fYngTUZeUQ)
-
I just don't know anymore.
Because what?
Just because.
-
When pigs fly!
Not in this lifetime.
If I knew then what I know now . . . .
Some people's children!
Like a snowball rolling downhill.
-
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
I never used this one; but I heard someone add
. . . but do it first!
In school I wore a Army shirt made over into a vest that had a sewn on patch that read...
"Do unto others, then SPLIT!"
-
I feel more like I do now than I did a while ago. ::)
Must is, cause “was ain’t” don’t sound right. :o
“Oh bother” said Poo, as he chambered another round. ;D
And of course my personal motto: “If you ain’t Cav, you ain’t s#it!” >:(
-
I had a co worker that always said...
"If you ain't Dutch you ain't much" ::)
-
If you are leaning you can be cleaning.
-
That wall dose not need your help to hold it up.
You are doing a good job of keeping that char from floating away.
-
Had a guy I worked with many years ago that like to say if something was forgotten " if you head don't work your feet gotta"
-
If you have to ask you can't afford it.
-
Had a guy I worked with many years ago that like to say if something was forgotten " if you head don't work your feet gotta"
Dave, our saying went: It is a good thing that your head is screwed on because, you would probably forget it too.
-
Your Proctologist called, it seems he's found your head.
-
If you have to ask you can't afford it.
How much, you can't afford it.
-
Count your blessings.
You don't say!
-
A day late and a dollar short.
-
There are two theories about arguing with women.
Neither one works.
-
Please and thank you.
You're welcome.
-
And now to sound like the Boss...
"Time's money and you're costing me a fortune!"
-
If he shakes your hand, better count your fingers.
-
Because this is GTA, I am changing this one a little:
If brains were gunpowder air, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.
-
Well, I work in the auto manufacturing business.
Around here the saying is...
Have a good weekend, see you tomorrow.... :o
-
Get out while the gettin's good.
If I happened to live in a couple of the states in our fine country that have gone completely crazy I'd get out while the gettin's good.
-
He is crookeder than a dogs hind leg (a barrel of snakes, etc).
More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Dumber than a sack of hammers.
-
Looks good from my house.
If you hear that from a Construction Worker?
You may want to get a new Contractor.
-
Plumber's creed..
It flows downhill and don't chew your fingernails.
-
Seems I'm the lone hold out on this path of progress.
-
My people skills are just fine...
It is my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
-
If it wasn't for bad luck.... I wouldn't have no luck at all
-
Stepped in it and came out smelling like a rose.
-
My people skills are just fine...
It is my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
This one hits the nail on the head
-
I saw this one on Joe's t-shirt on the TV show, Garage Squad:
National Sarcasm Society - Like we need your support.
I don't remember where I heard this one:
The Greek Philosopher, Mediocrities, always says: "That is good enough!"
-
Mike he's sure got some great shirts. I liked the one that showed the numbered manual gears with 1-4 then 5th substituted with Jail and 6th substituted with Prison. ;)
-
Get out while the gettin's good.
If I happened to live in a couple of the states in our fine country that have gone completely crazy I'd get out while the gettin's good.
I did, I did! 2.5 years ago!!! 😁😁😁😁
-
This smells bad really bad like a microwave diaper.
-
This is an old one but somehow I think it’s kind of timely right now. :(
If you will make proper goose then I will make a propaganda!
-
This is my rifle and this is my gun this is for fighting and this is for fun
ARMY
-
Old ParaTroopers never die. They just slip away.
-
Old truckers never die they just get a new Peterbuilt.
-
perturbed off Pete.
-
This one comes from many years ago when all trucks had only two doors and a bench seat:
The real Cowboy is the third guy in the pickup truck who is sitting in the middle. He doesn't have to drive. And he doesn't have to mess with the gate.
-
Old ParaTroopers never die. They just slip away.
None but the shades of cavalrymen dismount at fiddler’s green.
-
Air Force...
"if you put big enough engines on it, even a brick will fly"
"If it ain't leaking, it's empty."
-
Here is a little different slant on sayings. Those that somewhat annoying:
And your point is . . . . !
You could have gone all day without saying that.
You know . . . You know . . . You know . . .
Uhhh . . . Uhhh . . Uhhh . . .
Are you satisfied now?
-
Air Force...
"if you put big enough engines on it, even a brick will fly"
"If it ain't leaking, it's empty."
That last one about if it ain't leaking it's empty sounds like the SR71 or a Harley,BSA or a Triumph lol.🤗
-
It's not leaking it's sweating horse power.
-
Necessity is a mother......
-
My favorite reply to, "I found it, but it was in the last place I looked!" is "Of course it was. Why would you keep looking when you've found it." :o ;D
-
There’s no replacement for displacement.
When in doubt bore it out.
-
A good landing is one you can walk away from. A great landing is one you can use the airplane again.
-
When in danger, fear, or doubt.
Run in circles, scream and shout.
-
Always aim for center of mass.
-
Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary that's what gets you.
-
You got that right ;D
-
Coordinated as a cow on crutches
Serious as a heat attack
Face only a Mother could love
-
Tore up from the floor up.
-
Rip it off like a bandaid.
-
Lessons fer little children.
Never pull the kitties tail.
You can’t hurt him like that.
If you want to hear him wail.
Sock him with a baseball bat.
-
Dirty hands clean money.
Blue collar AF.
-
Heard this for the first time tonight and it reminded me of this thread.
"I wouldn't do that for a bottle of whiskey and a Red-head to pour it!"
;D
-
Yesterday, I went to the Medical Center to get a Covid Booster shot. The receptionist at the desk asked if I wanted to continue with the Moderna shots.
I told her: "I don't change horses in the middle of the stream."
-
A new saying is born: Last night, during halftime of the game between LSU and Auburn, the announcer was making the point of one of the teams doing too much 'thinking'. He said it was "Paralysis by Analysis". I bet he spent all of last week practicing that saying and figuring how to work it into the commentary.
A last comment: LSU won over the Auburn Tigers by a score of 21 - 17.
-
Learned this one today while boasting about my Grand-child #10.
"GrandPa...
Grand Daughter's best friend.
Grand Son's partner in crime."
Oh so true!!!
-
don't know if this one's been done...
"I'll take six of one and a half dozen of the other"....
-
don't know if this one's been done...
"I'll take six of one and a half dozen of the other"....
That old saw always confuses my wife. For some reason she just can’t get her head around it and it always comes out garbled. She will say “half of one six dozen of another” or “ six of one a dozen of another”. It’s gotten so that we laugh about it.
-
Too pooped to pop.
-
"Party 'til ya puke".
-
If no one is around, and a tree falls in the woods, does anyone see it?
Okay, maybe I have that a little screwed up.
-
If no one is around, and a tree falls in the woods, does anyone see it?
Okay, maybe I have that a little screwed up.
yeah, don't that have something to do with bears pooping or something like that?
-
If no one is around, and a tree falls in the woods, does anyone see it?
Okay, maybe I have that a little screwed up.
yeah, don't that have something to do with bears pooping or something like that?
If no one is around, and a tree falls in the woods, does it land in bear poo? ;D
-
Help, I've fallen and can't reach my beer.
-
If I make a statement in the woods, and my wife isn't around to hear it, am I still wrong?
-
If I make a statement in the woods, and my wife isn't around to hear it, am I still wrong?
😂🤣😂🤣
-
And we never heard from Scott again.
-
If a tree falls in the forest and only a mime hears it. . . .
Does anyone care?
-
If I make a sound in the woods and my wife don't hear it, can I keep the new airgun?
-
If I make a statement in the woods, and my wife isn't around to hear it, am I still wrong?
I'd be wrong no matter where I was at ::)
-
If I make a statement in the woods, and my wife isn't around to hear it, am I still wrong?
I'd be wrong no matter where I was at ::)
What if you say she is right?
-
Famous last words.
"Put it in backwards at lower power and see how they shoot!"
-
Famous last words.
"Put it in backwards at lower power and see how they shoot!"
Hold my beer!
-
If I make a statement in the woods, and my wife isn't around to hear it, am I still wrong?
I'd be wrong no matter where I was at ::)
What if you say she is right?
She probably has a way around it I'm sure.
Bob
-
Famous last words.
"Put it in backwards at lower power and see how they shoot!"
Hold my beer!
Yeah pretty much.
;D
-
If I make a statement in the woods, and my wife isn't around to hear it, am I still wrong?
I'd be wrong no matter where I was at ::)
What if you say she is right?
She probably has a way around it I'm sure.
Bob
They have a "rule book".
As soon as they detect we men know the rules... They change it.
-
They have a "rule book".
As soon as they detect we men know the rules... They change it.
My Wife has no standing Rules. And that would be the problem!
-
I am the head of my house.
I have figured out my wife is the neck, because she turns my head.