Author Topic: I practiced what I preached. (Read 5750 times))

neric · « **on:** February 25, 2011, 04:47:24 PM »

Well, I practiced what I preached. Although there was intense feelings back and forth,,,it was good.

In RedFeather's thread of "When we look into the monitor....." he speaks of being careful of what and how we say things on a public internet forum because it may cause some awkward moments and faux pas.

I said I look at things differently, more of a radical honesty approach and let the cards fall where they may.

There was a member on this forum that pretty well irritated me with his radically honest comments on a thread I started in the Hunting gate.

After a day or so and after I wrote my retort to RedFeather's thread I decided to PM this member with some of my own honesty. We both let the words fly back and forth and like in the song "A Boy Named Sue",,,,I walked away with a different point of view.

I am no longer irritated with this member and I respect him now. He did act fearlessly with an immediate response to my PM. Earlier in my life I wouldn't have been able to respond as this person did; I would probably have cowered away and never return, missing out on wonderful lessons and information.

North Pack · « **Reply #1 on:** February 25, 2011, 05:18:46 PM »

PM is an excellent way to "straighten out" a confrontational situation - and NOT on the open board. Glad things worked out so well, ... keep up the good work.

a1Bogey · « **Reply #2 on:** February 25, 2011, 09:32:39 PM »

NERIC, way to go Bud.

Bogey

RedFeather · « **Reply #3 on:** February 25, 2011, 09:41:12 PM »

I wasn't trying to say bite your tongue in that thread, nor play Dali Lama. It just struck me that we really don't know much, if anything, about the other members on these forums. What age they are, race, nationality, politcal/religious beliefs and things that you can fill in, even if only a bit, were you to sit and chat with them in a group. For example, you wouldn't be slamming Japanese people if you knew the fellow you are "talking" with is a third-generation Japanese-American living on Oahu, Hawaii. That sort of thing.

By all means, stick to your own convictions. Just speak about them as if you are standing up in church at Sunday service (or belief-oriented-gathering-of-your-choice). As someone once said, speak as if your mother is in the room with you. ;-)

neric · « **Reply #4 on:** February 26, 2011, 07:31:56 AM »

Well, my truth is - my mother has lost any abilities to moderate my behavior.

I like to see it as respect - not sure if respect is the right word. And I like the Marines motto: "Respect. Earned. Never Given." And in my mind respect can be lost just as readily as it can be earned.

btw, my dad has lost any ability to moderate my behavior as well.

This saying of "respect your elders",,,,some how,,, I don't think so. Just because they are 'elders' does not, in my mind, 'give' them any respect. It must be earned.

Yes,,,stick to your convictions.

RedFeather · « **Reply #5 on:** February 26, 2011, 01:39:45 PM »

I'm not sure I understand what you are driving at? I'm getting to be (maybe already am) an "elder" but I don't hold that as license to garner respect. There's an saying that goes something like "Old age is not a guarantee of wisdom. Sometimes old age arrives alone." I don't ask for respect, but I do expect some measure of it, depending upon how I treat others and conduct myself. If I don't get it, then I won't give the other person my time or attention. A philosophy of "earning my respect" smacks a bit of conceit. All people should be treated with respect, especially if you don't know them. You give up nothing if you do that.

Rocker1 · « **Reply #6 on:** February 26, 2011, 06:27:58 PM »

For the first time in forum History I agree with Red. My kids respect me and I expect a certain degree of respect from younger folks, I have been there and done that and experienced quiet a few things in life I hope they never experience, I try to respect other people to in a mannerly way and will continue to do so.A quiestion to you neric, how old are you?? thanks David

Bentong · « **Reply #7 on:** February 26, 2011, 07:01:02 PM »

I've always instilled in my kids to respect others the way they want to be respected, now for the select few that don't deserve to be respected are are left alone in their own lonely world, After all... kids are the reflection of their parents on how they were brought up growing.

oldpink · « **Reply #8 on:** February 26, 2011, 07:40:27 PM »

Have to throw in a "me too" with both Dave and Red.
Generally speaking, respect is earned, but I definitely defer to elders, particularly veterans and those who have already earned respect from many others.
Rarely do such people disappoint me.
It may be a cliche, but it's generally best to treat all those you meet, however high or low their status, with respect.
If they show themselves not to be worthy, then that doesn't mean you have to stoop to their level; but you can do what you can to avoid them.

Big_Bill · « **Reply #9 on:** February 26, 2011, 07:59:00 PM »

Like neric, I believe respect has to be earned !

I treat everyone with common courtesy, and demand that they also treat me with that same common courtesy. And if that common courtesy is not returned, not only does the the person loose any courtesy that I have shown, but any respect that may have had for them !

Respect must be earned and courtesy is to be given.

And neither age, religion, nationality or race have anything to do with respect !

I have meet men that have meet exuding with respect, with nothing more than their presence, and others that demanded respect unconditionally, that could not find it with a seeing eye dog.

But everyone deserves common courtesy when you meet them, until they either earn your respect, or loose the courtesy that was given.

I hope this makes sense.

Bill

neric · « **Reply #10 on:** February 27, 2011, 08:30:16 AM »

Big Bill,,,you said it very eloquently for me.

Somewhere along this thread I stated 'not sure if respect is the right word.' Respect has 6 definitions,,,courteous is one of the synonyms. When I use the word 'respect' I don't mean courteous. This is why communication gets slippery. If I were writing a dictionary I would strike 'courteous' from the definition of 'respect.'

Respect also means: 'hold esteem for'; 'have deference for' - which means to submit - as in 'respect the rules / law'' These are the definitions I use for 'respect.'

So Red when you said: "All people should be treated with respect, especially if you don't know them. You give up nothing if you do that." I would agree with that statement if you replaced 'respect' with 'courtesy.'

The people that have lost my respect I still treat with courtesy.

I expect respect from no one but I expect common courtesy from everyone.

Sometimes when speaking my convictions I get rather passionate about it, (yelling) and I never have any regrets or shame of doing so. The phrase often used to control someone's behavior, usually by elders: "Have you no Shame?"; my answer is: "Not anymore, thank God"

Rocker1: I'm 57.

The phrase: "...respecting opinions..."; I would use the words: tolerate or allow people their opinions, or perhaps,,appreciate others opinions

bwana · « **Reply #11 on:** February 27, 2011, 07:28:56 PM »

I'm the same age as Rocker1 and not much older than Neric. When I was a kid my parents taught me to respect my elders. That's how the world was back in the 1950's. If any adult saw you misbehave in public then they would step up and straighten you out, just like your Dad would do if he was there. The world has changed since then. It is not as courteous, not as civil, and kids are often left to raise themselves. It's sad really. Respect is earned Neric, but it should be given to everyone freely until a person demonstrates that they don't deserve it. Just my opinion.

RedFeather · « **Reply #12 on:** February 27, 2011, 07:53:15 PM »

Bwana, off topic, but I found the trigger. You still in need of it?

bwana · « **Reply #13 on:** February 27, 2011, 08:05:41 PM »

Thanks Red, Yes to the trigger. I'll send you some money for postage if you can PM me your address.

neric · « **Reply #14 on:** February 27, 2011, 08:53:23 PM »

Quote from: bwana on February 27, 2011, 07:28:56 PM

Just my opinion.

And a good one it is!

Big_Bill · « **Reply #15 on:** February 27, 2011, 10:15:46 PM »

As for me fellow members,

I had to "respect my elders", and some of these "gentlemen" were nothing more than drunks, bums and idiots !!!!!

I have established my code of life by living it !

Courtesy is being polite to everyone you may meet.

Respect must be earned, deserved and maintained by all !

Bill

neric · « **Reply #16 on:** February 28, 2011, 07:47:27 AM »

Amen Brother Big Bill! I like what you say and how you say it. Short, concise, clear and passionate. No backpedaling.

I would add to your list of attributes of those 'gentlemen' we 'had' to respect "Petite tyrants, & verbal abusers"

Respect, as you and I mean, is blooming more and more around the world. The fundamental happenings in the Arab countries right now is based on this principal: the leaders have lost the respect of their citizens and finally the young ones are having enough balls to actually do something about it, thru being fearless. Once one looses their fear - ain't nothin' else to loose. And the actions of the fearless aren't moderated by the platitudes: "as if one is standing in church" or "as if your mother was standing next to you"

Rescue35 · « **Reply #17 on:** February 28, 2011, 09:50:47 AM »

I treat people like I wish to be treated. Therefor I treat people the way they treat me.

neric · « **Reply #18 on:** February 28, 2011, 10:23:42 AM »

Quote from: Rescue35 on February 28, 2011, 09:50:47 AM

I treat people like I wish to be treated. Therefor I treat people the way they treat me.

I practice that.

The part of "therefore I treat people the way they treat me" doesn't follow the platitudes that sound good on paper but just doesn't work in real life like: "An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind", and a host of others that I can't think of right now, that get preached by pacifist martyrs.

What I've seen in life: martyrs continue to be martyrs which means they continue to be used / abused / victimized and in their minds become bitter /resentful / unhealthy / whiners and usually question themselves "what could I have done differently,,,and just generally not very happy.

RedFeather · « **Reply #19 on:** February 28, 2011, 01:47:24 PM »

Pardon me, but this is starting to sound bombastic. What is "speaking as if your mother is standing behind you"? During my Navy Daze, I was on a sub where every other word was an expletive deleted. But, when we hit the beach, even the foulest mouth cleaned up his act and talked "as if his mother was standing behind him". Of course, that was over thirty years ago when the general population's vocabulary consisted of words with greater than four letters. But it gives you the idea. Don't use bad names or insulting language in the internet world when you wouldn't use them in real life. Regarding martyrs spouting slogans of peace, well, there's a whole book of those called the New Testament.

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I practiced what I preached.

Author Topic: I practiced what I preached. (Read 5750 times))

a1Bogey

oldpink

Big_Bill

Big_Bill