When we look into the monitor, sometimes all we can see is our own reflection

[RedFeather]

The internet is a great place.  You can log on and chat with people from all over the world.  While it brings many benefits, it does have one downside.  Unlike most conversations, you can't really see who you're talking to.  Sometimes this is the source of funny commercials, like the one where the guy thinks he's talking to a hot, sexy young thang when, in reality, it's an obese old broad in a bathrobe.  But sometimes it's the other way around.  When you don't know who or what kind of person you're talking to, the opportunity for making a faux pas increases.  And, when you talk on a forum, that opportunity increases many fold, since your comments are open to every member.  So you have to be careful how you say things.  That person (or persons) on the other end may not always share your politics, religious beliefs, or race.  They probably don't live where you do and have different customs or vocabulary.  Assuming that everyone just naturally agrees with us can cause some awkward moments like the time I was sitting with a co-worker having coffee before starting work and listening to him complain about all of the Asians he had been encountering.  "There seem to be more and more of these Asians EVERWHERE!"  I took a sip, thought for a moment and then said, "You know, I think you're right.  Why, when I got up this morning, sonofagun if both of my kids weren't Asian!"  (They are.)  So it pays, all the way round, to take a moment and consider how your posts might be taken.  That "liberal pacifist bleeding heart who doesn't care about his country" just might turn out to be a decorated disabled veteran.

[jonnnyboy]

Thank you Red for a thoughtful and well-spoken thread.  Psychologists, sociologists and almost anyone who has to deal with the public are just now beginning to explore the ramifications of the internet-based social networking culture we are developing at present.  Truly, the next generation will interact with the world in a completely new and unpredictable way. 

Good golly, I sure miss the old days and I'm not THAT old!

joe

[uncle paulie]

Right on the mark, Red. A lot of years ago, I was working for a privately held company. They were a German owned company and the owners folks were very old first gen. and had come in the early 50's. At the Christmas party, the owners mother was saying that she didn't get along with her other daughter-in law and she only got to see her other grand-children a couple of times a year. I told her that it could be worse as I knew someone who was totally estranged from their son and extended family for the same reason.  She came back with "Ya, he could have married a Jew!" My reply was " You know, thats what I did, and its not so bad!"  For some strange reason,  my future with that company wasn't so bright after that. 30 years later, I figure I was better off in the long run, as it's still "not so bad!" Wouldn't trade her for the world. Internet or not, these types of folks have been around forever, but it now seems easier for them to snipe as they're virtually invisible.

pv

[gene_sc]

Very well put Red. But as my humor and personality goes, I will tell you this.. I do not like left wing Indians at all... But in your case I have over looked this just because we all share a common hobby/sport...

And in actuality on the GTA there is no color as I see it. Just peeps havin fun playin wiff bb guns..  Don't take offense Red, I still live in the past where commies, reds and socialists are a hard place in my mind...

[JonnyReb]

 So very true, i myself try to read my post from the outside looking in but fail i'm sure in getting my true tone or point across, we all do an need to take that into consideration. To many times someone gets blasted for things taken wrongly. On top of that, we do all have some prejudices that show in some form or another. All people have since time began, only recently has a push for true equality in this world begun. Of course that will never happen. Power and greed will remain if nothing else, it will further serve prejudice.

  In spite of that i've found this particular forum to be as devoid of that as any and full of like minded individuals who intelligently share their lives and hobbies in the best of ways. No real animosity here.  J

[woogie_man]

Right on Red...

Take a look at some of the kids in grade school.  My wife is a teacher at a local preschool/daycare for school aged kids.  And the older ones are always talking in "text talk"!  Most of them, around the ages of 5-9, have some type of cell phone already!  I didn't get my first cell phone until I was in college.

I know that I am still that young punk, well to most of you guys , but at 27 I can look to you guys and see a lot of my dad in most of you.  So it is really fun to get on here and see what everyone is saying, and think back and know that is something my dad would say to me.


The thing with the internet, is that it is a great resource.  But it needs to be looked at like that, just a resource.  We still need to get out and talk to a person in the flesh.  There is no replacement for talking to a person face to face.  I really worry about what our kids will be like, when they have to go to a job interview or something, and have no human interaction skills?  It is truly a sad thing to think about, well at least in my opinion.

But it is always great to get on and see that other people are trying to deal with the same things that I am going though.  I mean look at you guys...... we are all trying to get our friends to shoot these darn "BB guns"    So nice to know that we are never alone.

[RedFeather]

Gene, I'm gonna have to correct you.  The applicable word for the members here is not "peeps" but "perps".   

[a1Bogey]

Yes the internet is the hiding place for marginal personalities that shield themselves with the cloak of anonymity.  They have an alter ego that they dare not expose in real life.  Because if they did, they would most likely be picking themselves off the sidewalk everday.  The vile, hateful, nasty replies/comments  you see on the net are sickening.   I've always tried to take people on thier character not thier color, religion, or how much money they have.   And people without character, integrity, honor or a since of duty, I stay away from.
And as far as someone saying something hurtful to another, sometimes it happens without any attempt of malice.  The old "open mouth and insert foot" moment. And as human beings we will all be guilty of it at times.  And wish we could stuff the words back into our mouths.

Bogey

[jonnnyboy]

"Yes the internet is the hiding place for marginal personalities that shield themselves with the cloak of anonymity. "

Very true, Mike!  I appreciate the fact that one of the foundations of the GTA is that hurtful statements are not allowed and the forum is kept family-friendly.  Its a place I would not be embarassed to have my wife or children looking over my shoulder asking, "Whatcha' looking at, Dad?"

joe

[TheBud]

I'm a newby here, Thanks for the insight.

[huklbery]

Happend to me some years ago, my mom was an emigrant from GB so we grew up with a British centric outlook.  A friend at work was Austrian, I was at his folks and ended up describing a film I had recently seen.  Biggles big adventure I think the name was.  Its premise was time travel with a Brit flyer in WWI at its core.  The Germans as so often where simply bad guys, I was half way through and realized they had something of a glazed look on their faces.  After all they probably lost family in the wars not to mention WWI was not nearly as clear cut as WWII, much more just empires colliding without any moral compass.

 

[neric]

When you don't know who or what kind of person you're talking to, the opportunity for making a faux pas increases.  And, when you talk on a forum, that opportunity increases many fold, since your comments are open to every member....  So you have to be careful how you say things.  That person (or persons) on the other end may not always share your politics, religious beliefs, or race.    Assuming that everyone just naturally agrees with us can cause some awkward moments like the time I was sitting with a co-worker having coffee....  So it pays, all the way round, to take a moment and consider how your posts might be taken.  That "liberal pacifist bleeding heart who doesn't care about his country" just might turn out to be a decorated disabled veteran.

I dunno about this philosophy.  I used to live this type of creed.  As I've gotten older I see that I lived my most of my life in a relative state of fear which is not a healthy state of mind, imo.  I feared what I was going to say just 'might' offend someone,,,I walked on eggshells most of my life.  Having been on both sides of this figurative fence I much prefer to be on the side of just saying my piece and however they want to receive it,,,,well that's out of my control,,,and its not my problem unless I allow it to be.

I agree that making assumptions is generally not a good thing, but I've concluded that the way the human brain works - it is unavoidable.  We all make assumptions, everyday.  And to "take a moment and consider how your posts might be taken" is yet another assumption one is performing because we simply cannot know their background.  

There is a saying in water skiing - "if you aren't falling,,,you aren't learning."  And these faux paus that are supposed to be avoided, but everyone makes, is exactly how we humans learn our social interacting skills.  

I believe everyone is psychic to some degree,,,at least to the degree where we  know when someone isn't really saying what they really mean.  Personally I'll take someone who isn't afraid of saying what they really mean,,,because that's honesty, imo.  As well as when people are editing their own words carefully so as not to offend someone,,,,its just not a comfortable presence,,,there is a non-verbal body language that gets exchanged between both parties.  

I also see this "careful how we tread" behavior as pretentious,,,a fearful facade.  I'll take a fearless person any day.  Mistakes will be made.  We pick up the pieces and move on,,,this is what it is to be mature.  

To teach people to 'not make mistakes' is to instill timidity, shyness, perhaps "Fear of the Lord."   I don't believe ruling by fear is the best way.  I want to surround myself with peers,,,,not minions.

Thought provoking thread Red.  

[RedFeather]

The short version - Don't use slang names for groups of people because there is a likelihood that those people might be reading your thread, especially on a global forum such as this.  Might mean nothing to you but everything to them.  This isn't being restrictive so much as extending a common courtesy.

[neric]

The short version - Don't use slang names for groups of people ...

  This isn't being restrictive so much as extending a common courtesy.

I can get behind those statements.

[mojomoto]

Excellent topic! You arent cowards here!

"That "liberal pacifist bleeding heart who doesn't care about his country" just might turn out to be a decorated disabled veteran."
Or one of us.

Think about "Fighting for our freedom" this way.

Did we "win" Korea?
Did we "win" the Bay of Pigs invasion?(Cuba)
Did we "win" Vietnam?
Did we "win" Iraq?
Are we "winning" the "war on terror"?

Those americans fought (and died) for?? Our freedom. How can it be when a "necessary" war is lost and we are still living in luxury in our uninvaded country?

Any war that was fought and lost with very little notice to the american public (other than to the relatives of the ones lost) was a waste of valuable american soldiers, brothers, fathers, cousins and friends. IMO.

Ive got 2 uncles that were in Vietnam. One in artillery, one in the infantry. They both still have nightmares and their families lives were negatively altered by a "necessary and lost war.". I am one of the few people they talk to comfortably about their experiences because I am a bleeding heart pacifist to a degree. (WWll was necessary in my eyes). I am a unwavering conservative when it comes to spending my valuable countrymen's lives.

War is only romantic to those who have never been FULLY baptized in one.

Just sayin.

And.... as far as racists and bullies go....(we have plenty here too!!!) Some need another to stand on to feel tall. I pity them. They are sad, week people. My dad told me "If you really feel the need to judge a person.....get to know them by name and heart first and let them get to know you."

Again. All great posts. Thanks RedFeather.

David