"A compulsive liar", ....

[North Pack]

A Friendly Rivalry

The Australians and the New Zealanders – or Kiwis, as they are popularly called – have long had a friendly rivalry, a rivalry that makes it into their humor. In today’s installment, I share a joke told from the Kiwi perspective. Next week, I’ll give the Aussies a turn…

A Kiwi ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the local, “G'day, mind if I talk to your  dog?”

Villager: “The  dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.”

Ventriloquist:  “Hello dog, how's it going, mate?”

Dog:  “Yeah, doin' all right.”

Aussie (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist:  “Is this villager your owner?” (pointing at the villager)

Dog: “Yep.”

Ventriloquist:  “How does he treat you?”

Dog: “Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake now and again to play.”

Aussie: (look  of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist:  “Mind if I talk to your horse?”

Aussie: “Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think.”

Ventriloquist:  “Hey horse, how's it going?”

Horse: “Cool.”

Aussie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: “Is this your owner?” (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: ”Yep.”

Ventriloquist:  “How does he treat you?”

Horse: ”Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the elements.”

Aussie: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”

Aussie (in a panic): “The sheep's a compulsive liar.”

[snookman]

 Too funny, I have to give you an applaud for that one.

snookman

[Rocker1]

thats a good one  my wife is a kiwi and there really is a fierce rivaly there.  thanks david

[Rocker1]

   You need to ask Pete what a jafa is ,  hes from NZ... thanks david

[RedFeather]

Reminds me of the Aussie who was visiting NZ and came across a Kiwi with a flock of sheep.  "I think your sheep need shearing, mate!" yelled the Aussie, to which the Kiwi jealously replied, "We don't shear our sheep with ANYONE!"

[bigbadwulff]

Good one(s)

[Erskine]

Lol, reminds me of what is said about Texans in Oklahoma, "Texas! Where men are men and sheep run scared."

[Pete]

Bugger..
I missed this thread....

Hey I just read that Nikon have inverted a camera
with a shutter speed so FAST that it can take a picture
of a aussie with his mouth closed...

But really all that matters is that the All Blacks have a 3 to 1
win record over the wallabys.....