In hindsight, it is funny. No pictures. Back after years, here's the tale. RAT

[Ricochet808]

Aloha all,

Moved to WA a few years ago and left behind the stable. Got rid of the Sumatra and regret it. Last week I didn't even have an air rifle in stable. I have been trying my hand at gardening starting last year. Growing Tomatoes especially. I been trying different varieties. Bushsteaks which are like your normal big tomatoes have been great and Furthest Norths (Cherry) I grew last year with great success! I'd highly recommend the Furthest North tomatoes. We've already had frost and they are still looking good. Like last year the Furthest Norths went off like a bomb. Two plants made more fruit than I could keep up with. This year I added some new plants, Elenore North Tomatoes. These are large juicy and tasty. First few came in and I enjoyed them. The plants are huge. 6ft tall and packed. I was in mater heaven.

Until I began noticing things. Sign #1 was bites missing from the Elenore's. Several glorious looking fruit suddenly had large chunks eaten out of them and I was left perplexed as to what was causing the damage. My first guess was birds but I've never observed birds taking interest in those plants. Deer are often in the yard and they became my second suspect, but the tomatoes being eaten were further back on the plant. I pondered on the obvious for a few days. Meanwhile my Elenore's were constantly picked off right as they ripened being found half eaten and my North Tomatoes were suspiciously void of ripe fruit despite ample amounts of maturing bounty. Something was eaten them, but leaving the Bushsteaks completely alone, odd. Strange enough some of the green Elenore's were getting chomped on as well. What on earth eats green tomatoes?

I finally noticed it. The obvious I should have recognized. I'm rusty. A burrow right in the corner of the concrete path along the garden bed right next to the house. Hiding amongst the ample foliage. Rat. Trying to spare my pregnant wife from the situation I discretely purchased some traps rigged them up with some offerings. The Tomcat traps I went with have little "cups" for the bait. I rigged one up with normal "organic" peanut butter my wife likes the other some cheese. Days go by no glory. My wife notices the traps and borrow, she is observant. I explain to her the situation and she finds it funny. "He doesn't like your bait huh? I noticed he had a green tomato by the hole. Maybe he's a southern rat?" Funny woman, it is why I love her. I switch the baits. Cereal in one. The other? I remembered from years ago this board and talk of baiting rats. I remembered "Peter Pan Crunchy" peanut butter. I found one jar at the store tucked in the back. Bingo. I had the next day off so I set the traps figuring I would have this wrapped up before wifey gets home from work. I assure the wifey the Crunchy will work.

Next morning I wake up and get to working on some other stuff around the house. I zoned out the traps until about noon. I walk outside the front door to check on em. One of the traps is missing. The Peter Pan Crunchy trap is MIA. I look around the whole area. At this point I am thinking "&^^& I hope the neighbors dog didn't find it, or maybe a rabbit?" Nope, I spot movement at the far side of the house in the other garden bed with bean plants 50ft away. I approach and observe rat with it's right arm stuck in the trap. He is glaring at me. I would estimate 1'4" in length with tail. It appeared to me that he was able to work his head out of the trap but was unable to free himself. I had him. &^^&. How do I humanely end this thing? I consider stomping the life out of him but I began to question that plan. I want put him down humanly and I come to the realization that I have no air rifles in this house. I consider getting the 22lr and scrap that idea. I wager he is about as hurt as he is going to get and he can wait for a bit before his demise. Should have not of eaten my "dang" tomatoes.

I had been thinking about getting a new pellet gun for a while due to ammo costs. I inspect the rat and decide that he is not going anywhere. So I jump in the truck to go buy myself a new airgun. I got a sportsmans close buy and swing by. "dang" shortages! Nothing worth the money! They don't even have a break-barrel Crossman or Gamo! I was toying with the idea of getting a Marauder. Good luck. I saw they did have .22 CPHPs. Noted. Well &^^&. I jump in the truck and decide on Bass Pro, I know I am not going to get a great deal but I can't be out shopping to long. Traffic. &^^&. I pull up to Bass Pro and behold. No PCPs, but they do have some Gamo rifles. Well I haven't looked at anything air gun related in years. I look over the selection and find one of what looks like the "nicest" Gamo they have. Swarm Magnum Gen 2 in .22 so I grab it. It has open sights which is perfect. Now for the pellets, and they have no .22 pellets. *facepalm*.

Now of course I get a phone call. It is my wife. She is home early from work.

Her "Honey where are you?"
Me "I'm picking something up at the store I'll be right home."
Her "You know one of your traps is gone."
Me "I know."
Her "Why is that bucket in the garden by the house?"
Me "The rat is in a trap under the bucket."
Her "Oh, it's still alive? That's sad."

She talks to me as she gets curious and goes to investigate the rat. "Honey I'll be home real quick" Her "Oh he's hurt, wow he is fluffy looking, Hello there fella..." *EXPLETIVE* here we go... I check out at Bass Pro and get to my truck. She's musing the idea of releasing the rat into the bucket and driving it down to the park to release it. "I'll be home soon!" I'm driving to sportsman to get a tin of those CPHPs, they were .22s right? I hope they are .22s...

I finally hear over the phone what I've been expecting "Honey, how do these traps work? How do I open it?" I respond "Don't, I'll be home soon." Her "But he's hurt, I want to just let him out of the trap and keep him in the bucket." Me "You just push down at the back and it opens, like a strong clothespin, but don't he might.." *screams from the phone, followed by cursing, and the phone dropping to the ground* I hear "DONT YOU DARE YOU F**** AHHHH YOU MOTHER F****" *more screams phone call ends*

My face is just grimacing as I drive and let out a long sigh. Well that rat is never falling for the trap again... traffic heading to sportsman isn't bad. I'm still going to need those pellets. *phone rings* It's the wife. Her "I tried to drop him in the bucket but that trap is strong! I started pull the trap out to early and he came out with it! He's hurt and I got him cornered under the patio table. He's hurt. He can't run. I'm going to just sit here so he can't get to his hole." Ahh! Good! I roll my eyes "Good job honey, I'll be home soon." She stays on the phone and continues to narrate the situation. I get the sportsman and hustle to the door, &^^& mask, run back to the truck. Get into the store and find a tin of .22 CPHP. Bingo. Back to the truck. My wife is just watching this rat as it is trying to find a way around her. She is sitting on the steps having a full blown conversation with the thing. "Oh, going to try? Nope. Get back under there. Yea you think you're sneaky? I'm still here! HEY! Yea go back under that table. NOOO!! Stay there." She is trash talking the thing to death. I finally get home. She is still watching him.

I get the rifle out of the box and spend a moment trying to understand this magazine thing. Interesting design but not what I need right now! I can see the rat moving around under the table. Finally figure it out and load a few pellets. I crank the barrel down, takes a decent bit of force, more than I was expecting. Open sights perfect. My wife goes inside and now I work a shot. His shoulder is messed up and this is a mercy killing. Just trying not to shoot the furniture. He moves into a clear line of fire with the concrete foundation of the house as my backstop. My sunglasses are ballistic rated Oakley's because of course they are lol at least I got eye pro. I line up my shot, and these fiber optic sights are nice. The sight picture is great! I'm about 8 feet and the rat moves against the concrete giving me a perfect side profile. I aim for the ole lunges and heart and squeeze. THWACK. I can see the impact of the pellet off the concrete behind the rat. The CPHP broke the sound barrier. My wife calls from inside the other end of the house "Oh that was loud!" Upon impact the rat dropped and barely twitched. Looked like clean shot and upon inspection I looked like I got him right in boiler room. The pellet left a clear impact in the concrete behind the rat. Now that I've had a chance to look up this Gamo it appears to be a pretty powerful break barrel. More than I was expecting. Next day is trash day so into the bin and done with it.

So, here I am. Back to square one with a break barrel Gamo and eyeballing a FX Impact M3 in .25cal. The more things change they more they stay the same. I hope yall got a laugh from this one.

[ranchibi]

Richochet, that is one heck of a funny story! Your wife is one heck of a trooper! Welcome back and welcome back to the Darkside.

[ER00z]

Great story!

I've been in a couple situations scrambling for an airgun, when rimfire is too much and a shovel isn't enough, no fun in the moment but in hind sight usually gives a chuckle. That Gamo has plenty of power, a little much for short range ratting, but should serve you well for a bit.

Thanks for the laugh and the story. Take care.

[customcutter]

Great story, sounds like the wife is a trooper!  Good luck with the garden.  Rats ate every single baby lima bean out of our spring garden last year.

[Rat Sniper (AKA: PaulT58)]

Thanks for the story, it's great to start the day with a good chuckle!  Sounds like you got yourself a keeper, your wife and the Gamo! 

[ranchibi]

Hilarious story and great writing! Welcome back to airgunning!