Quote from: Yng@hrt on February 16, 2019, 11:25:36 AM^^^I will sit in the corner & write 10,000 lines; "I will not make fun of Hoosier Daddy".Can I have a personal item? Even a lock of hair will do.
^^^I will sit in the corner & write 10,000 lines; "I will not make fun of Hoosier Daddy".
That rear sight is ---um---unconventional?
Told the Doc I wasn't feeling well. He told me to walk 5 miles a day and call him in a week. When I called, he asked how I felt. I told him I felt the same, I'm 35 miles from home and not sure how I'll get home.
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee,and a 1 lb. package of bacon.As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
So I'm at Walmart buying a bag of dog food for my dog. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Food Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with food Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was not enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard!!Disclaimer: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!! (Your wife would probably hit you with the frying pan, and you would wind up in intensive care with tubes . . . .)