Got jokes? Post 'em here

[Back_Roads]

 Yeah I find pickup lines work better if you do not use the F word

[Hoosier Daddy]

Sign of the times...
Back in the day, you could say "You wanna "F" ?" and it worked quiet often.
Ahhh the good old days. 

[bnowlin]

Yep that worked some.  Got slapped a few times but it was worth it in the long run.  

[Back_Roads]

 Who wants kinky sex worked one time

[avator]

Sign of the times...
Back in the day, you could say "You wanna "F" ?" and it worked quiet often.
Ahhh the good old days. 

Yep, what girl would turn down a good Ford?

[buellm2]

Sign of the times...
Back in the day, you could say "You wanna "F" ?" and it worked quiet often.
Ahhh the good old days. 

Yep, what girl would turn down a good Ford?

He didn't say it was a good Ford, only that it worked quiet often.  I'm guessing it was a Ford that worked more often than not and had a muffler that wasn't rusted out.  I'd be nervous that if the girl took the offer, she'd be upset if it sometimes didn't get her to where she wanted to be.

[Hoosier Daddy]

My Ford was very desirable... back then.
 But
My parents Olds Delta 88 Royal had a back seat as big as a sofa

[bnowlin]

I had a 39 pontiac Silver Streak that you could Ford 5 girls in the back seat at one time. I could only Ford 4 never 5.

[dk1677]

Hedonists    57' VW Beetle, no heat, gas gauge was a wooden stick , year round retread snows , radio a portable transistor battery one. Next vehicle was 63 Buick Le Sabre with a 445 Could fit a mini bike in the trunk and close it. Guy that had it before put rear shocks with helper springs to bring oranges from Florida to sell ( or borrow my fathers Electra  )

[bnowlin]

Hedonists    57' VW Beetle, no heat, gas gauge was a wooden stick , year round retread snows , radio a portable transistor battery one. Next vehicle was 63 Buick Le Sabre with a 445 Could fit a mini bike in the trunk and close it. Guy that had it before put rear shocks with helper springs to bring oranges from Florida to sell ( or borrow my fathers Electra  )

Nice but could you Ford in it

[Back_Roads]

 I put a waterbed in the back of my 73 Plymouth Satellite. 

[Matchstickshooter]

I put a waterbed in the back of my 73 Plymouth Satellite. 

if you'd filled it with beer, you could've had a foam mattress...

[Back_Roads]

I put a waterbed in the back of my 73 Plymouth Satellite. 

if you'd filled it with beer, you could've had a foam mattress...

Hmm it might not of froze as solid in winter either

[Rick67]

👍

[Rick67]

 

[Matchstickshooter]

I put a waterbed in the back of my 73 Plymouth Satellite. 

if you'd filled it with beer, you could've had a foam mattress...

Hmm it might not of froze as solid in winter either

   unless it was left over Billy's Beer!

[Madd Hatter]

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines eight years ago, you would have £49.00 today.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG insurance seven years ago, you would have £33.00 today.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers eleven years ago, you would have nothing today.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock nine years ago, you would have nothing today
But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco's, drunk all the beer, then taken the aluminum cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received £214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.
A recent study found that the average person walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found that we drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means that, on average, we get about 41 miles to the gallon

[Madd Hatter]

A blonde woman is talking to an operator at the exchange and says, "I have been trying to ring 0800 1730 for several days now and cannot get through". The operator asks, "Where did you obtain this number ?". The blonde replies "It was on the front door of the Travel Agency".

"Ah" said the operator, " I think that you will find that that is their opening hours

[splitbeing]

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines eight years ago, you would have £49.00 today.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG insurance seven years ago, you would have £33.00 today.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers eleven years ago, you would have nothing today.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock nine years ago, you would have nothing today
But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco's, drunk all the beer, then taken the aluminum cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received £214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.
A recent study found that the average person walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found that we drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means that, on average, we get about 41 miles to the gallon

[chuckling] This gets funny, and then gets funnier.  I love a joke that makes it to the next level.  It's like a run play in football where the RB is patient at the line, watching the second level of blocking, and then gets the big play instead of just the average one.