How to recognize a low key trauma response

[splitbeing]

Reflecting on my feelings in relation to a prized member who recently left, I recognize I feel confused, shocked, unfairly judged, and hurt without being able to understand the reasoning or how this is happening.

I recognize that this is probably how he felt in response to recent news.  I suspect he feels confused, shocked, unfairly judged, and hurt without being anle to understand the reasoning or how this is happening.

When people experience something painful and impossible to assimilate, when something low key traumatic happens to them, a common response is to actively do this to others in the process of working through it. 

The strangeness of the member's departure is not so strange when seen through this lens.  I think he is in rough shape right now and is treating us in a way that positions us to feel what he's feeling.  I do not think he is doing this intentionally. It is a common, unconscious response to being subjected to something that scrambles your heart and world with the mind unable to sanely keep up.  Often loved ones take the brunt of the response before the person comes out the other side, if they do.

[subscriber]

I feel like we are being punished for something, without the opportunity face our accuser in a fair trial.

Also, we are being held hostage, without the terms of our release being spelled out.

If someone announces their departure in a huff, I don't expect to see them again; else they are not really gone.  Certainly not to come back just to see if their departure memo is still on the notice board.  Or, to complain if HR took it down.

I think the missing member was taken for granted.  Expected to provide clear answers to complex questions, immediately.  Because that is what he did - relentlessly.  That alone deserves a paid vacation. 

But in terms of an effective strategy to achieve an undefined goal, I might as well announce a boycott of some sort, until the member in question returns.  As if that would add anything more than amusement value.

[JuryRigger]

I feel like we are being punished for something, without the opportunity face our accuser in a fair trial.

Also, we are being held hostage, without the terms of our release being spelled out.

If someone announces their departure in a huff, I don't expect to see them again; else they are not really gone.  Certainly not to come back just to see if their departure memo is still on the notice board.  Or, to complain if HR took it down.

I think the missing member was taken for granted.  Expected to provide clear answers to complex questions, immediately.  Because that is what he did - relentlessly.  That alone deserves a paid vacation. 

But in terms of an effective strategy to achieve an undefined goal, I might as well announce a boycott of some sort, until the member in question returns.  As if that would add anything more than amusement value.

That's kind of what I meant in my post in another thread-when I said 'looking for an excuse'...
Bob has been helpful to this forum on the level of a saint-and that has got to be one heck! of a heavy load... 
One well-deserving of an all-expenses-paid 'vacation', for sure!...

However, I also must say that Bob is not a fickle, overly emotional man in my judgement-and I feel we might be doing him a great disservice by trying to analyze him this way...
If you take his posts at face value, including his post over at the Canadian forum, then it might very well be that he is simply that patriotic and politically-inclined; and is acting in the way he feels to be the most honorable and just...

I only hope, since it appears that the situation that began this may not come to pass; that he will understand that the forum mods did not single him out, his post was taken down for political content no differently than MANY right-wing American political posts have, which should show that the forum is indeed simply maintaining a 'no-politics' status-one that I find most refreshing BTW!...

So if you read this Bob, please reconsider coming back to the GTA as a friend when you feel that it is acceptable, and if you have felt somewhat 'used' as an unpaid tech advisor, then recognize it is quite fair to say 'no'... 

Mods, if you feel I've included to much politics in my post, please remove it right off instead of locking the thread, unless it's more than my post that warrants it.

Somehow I feel like the kid on the playground who just had the other kid come over and say we can't play ball anymore because our parents are having a feud... 
Jesse

[Privateer]

When I was in the Army?
We called that But Hurt.
 

[mobilehomer]

When I was in the Army?
We called that But Hurt.
 

I call it a childish temper tantrum.

[Privateer]

And I did notice said person had to log back in today.
Why is that if your gone? Maybe to see of your still a Moderator?
Which is a NO!

[Insanity]

Locked for admin review.

[Hoosier Daddy]

All will be fine once we acquire Canada as our 51st state.

Totally uncalled for John... what if this was actually the "World Wide Web" as it truly is.